Boom Boom Bang!

It’s that time of the year again. The roads are choked with cars, people are stuffing their faces with every possible delicacy ever known in the history of Indian cuisine, houses are spotlessly clean, there are fairy lights everywhere you turn, nearly blinding you and by now you must have forgotten  the number of times you jumped out of your skin because some random kids were bursting crackers somewhere in the vicinity, freaking the bats out of you.

Welcome to the annual Indian madness everyone! It’s Diwali time!

I love the feeling I get when this festival is around the corner. Unlike Holi where the oldies shy away from having a blast, Diwali is that one time of the year when every single person shall be out on the roads to shop, meet their relatives and be a part of the biggest festival in the country.

It’s sheer madness no doubt, but so much fun!  It’s that one time of the year when you get meet your entire extended family. There’s the yummiest possible food, unlimited gifts, new clothes and the one chance to get anything you want from your parents as a Diwali gift! Well, almost anything.

And as I write all this, I’m surrounded with the gifts and sweets we’ve received so far as gifts. Just one look at them and I know all my weight loss resolutions have gone down the drain. Not that I’m complaining. : P I mean no little black dress can give me the happiness like a box of kaju katli can. Or maybe it can?!? Damn it! I should have stopped at the first box! :-/

Oh! Well it’s too late now so I’ll just go and dive headlong into a box of laddoo’s.

Happy Diwali everybody!!! :D

 

Gratitude

About a year back, when I started this blog, my sole intention was to pen down all these random nonsense thoughts I get in my head. Even though I talk all day long to just anybody I find, I still had these things that I needed to share with someone.

So I started writing here making it an online diary of sorts. And not even for a moment did I think that somebody would actually read all the stuff I’m writing.

For me it was just a way to vent out my madness.

But over time I saw that my blog found followers who not only read what I’ve written but also send me their love in form of the comments and emails.

I cannot tell you guys how grateful I am to all of you. Just knowing that somebody out there is listening to me and not giving me judgmental looks is so therapeutic (Well even if you are then I can’t see it, so it’s ok).

Thank you so much for just being there and helping me remain sane.

I love you all so much!

:)

Soulmates

She sat down under the huge banyan tree. It was at the very edge of the cliff. Sitting under that tree you could see the entire valley spread out like a painting in front of you.

She loved coming here. It was their spot. He had brought her here on their first date. She had found it odd when he told her that they were going away from the city for their first date. Usually people chose a nice restaurant or a coffee place.

But the moment she laid her eyes on this place, she knew that no other place could have created the magic that this place did. They sat there for hours, talking away on random stuff.

He had a brilliant sense of humor. Though he looked like a serious type person, he was a lot more fun to talk to.

They started dating and both got on like a house on fire.

She was the non emotional type. Fun, bubbly and never actually getting serious in life or in relationships. He was the complete opposite. Serious and nerdy. He never made many friends and preferred to stay alone.

Both of them in the very beginning of their relationship understood that each wanted different things from each other. He was in for the long haul. Falling more and more in love with her with every passing day. She on the other hand was just casually dating.

She tried explaining it to him innumerable times that she was phobic to commitment and would probably never commit for life. But he always just smiled and changed the topic.

Nevertheless they were together. Like chalk and cheese they were completely opposite. And this was probably the reason they went along so well. They filled each other’s gaps and completed the picture together.

She slowly started getting him out of his shell and his influence made her more practical and patient.

They were the perfect examples of the theory which says opposites attract. And eventually she too fell in love with him.

Sitting under that tree today, she remembered the day he was to come to her place and ask her father for her hand in marriage.

She had barely slept last night and she impatiently walked up and down the hallway waiting for him.

She ran towards the door when she heard a car pulling into her driveway. Her dad welcomed them home and within the next 6 months they were married.

Together they built a marriage which lasted nearly five decades. She loved him with all her heart and laughed at herself, thinking how childish her thoughts on commitment had been.

He was there with her through every up and down and they together sailed their ship through the sea of life.

She was lost in her memories when she heard somebody call out to her from behind.

“Grandma, come let’s play!”

It was their 2 year old grandchild. She smiled at him. He has his grandfather’s eyes.

She took out a single red rose from her bag and laid it under the tree. It was his favorite flower. He often bought bouquets of fragrant crimson roses for her.

It has been 7 years since he left them for his heavenly abode, and every year, this day she comes here and relives that first date. The fateful day when she met her soul mate.

 

Its Festival Time!!

Kalakand, Gulab Jamun, Milk Cake, Kaju Katli, Jalebi, Boondi laddoo’s….

Every year when the festive season kicks in, I dump all my “I need to lose weight” resolutions and start stuffing my face with all the possible sweets I can find. I’ve already attacked a box of milk cake and I’m having extreme cravings for some piping hot jalebi’s.

With the Navratari, India enters into a month long festive mode. We have nine days of navratri’s which involves insane amounts of garba, then the durga pooja, followed by dussehra, then karva chauth, and finally Diwali and Bhai Dooj.

It’s a month filled with sweets, new clothes, innumerable pooja’s, dancing, amazingly delicious food, family get together, fairy lights, earthen oil lamps, rangoli’s and gifts.

I’m so excited about all the mind blowing food I’m going to eat!

I know I’ll be about 5 kg’s heavier by the time we wrap up the celebrations, but who cares!!

Shubh Navratri everyone!!

:)

No Regrets

Long time back, when I was in school, I was addicted to those Agatha Christie novels. I used to read them like crazy and I believe I must have read all of them.

One of my favorite of her books is “After the Funeral”; A mystery of revolving around the murder of Mr. Richard Abernethie and his sister Cora.

I don’t really remember all the character now but I remember at one point this guy asks his sister, “Don’t you have any regrets?”, and she calmly replies, “It’s a waste of time, having regrets”.

This dialogue has been stuck in my head ever since. I read numerous other novels after this one but no other dialogue ever appealed me as this one did.

Regret. Those sad disappointing feelings that sometimes feel like they are piercing your heart.

So many times in life we fail to do something which ultimately makes us regret that moment for years to come.

Logic, society, common sense, manners, fear and god knows what all has stopped us from doing what we always wanted to do.

I’m sure all of us can count the incidents in our life we regret. Things we didn’t say, and decisions we didn’t make.

I don’t know about everybody else, but I’ve had my fair share of things that I for a long time regretted. A long list of things I wanted to do and feelings I wanted to express.

There was a point in my life when my list of regrets was longer than my list of things that made me happy. And each of those regrets were like a wakeup call for me.

I remember somebody telling me, that one day your whole life would flash before your eyes. Make it worth a watch.

I didn’t want my life to be a bundle of regrets, so I decided to just let everything go and do what my heart wanted.

Over time I’ve committed massive blunders, made horrible mistakes and made a complete utter fool of myself in front of strangers.

But I also know that in spite of all this, I made some absolutely fabulous friends, found my passion in life and did what my I wanted to do rather than what everybody else expected me to do.

And today, years after I made that decision, I stand here happy and content. I’ve realized that after all these years, I really don’t give a damn if somebody thought my choices were wrong, or if somebody did not liked the way I dressed or if somebody absolutely hated the way I talked and considered me a blubbering idiot.

Everybody around you will always keep telling you what to do and what not to do. I’ve had my parents and friends and neighbors and random people I just met tell me what I should do in life.

But at the end of everything, and with all due respect to each one of them, I made choices that I felt were correct for me. Even if they were wrong I knew that these were the choices I made and hence I’m the only one responsible for anything that ever happens to me.

All that matters today is that I did what I wanted to and that deep down inside me I know that I’m very happy.

Every single regret that we have in life is because of a simple fact, that we were not able to stand up for our happiness. It takes guts to do what you want to do and when you know everybody else is against it. But somehow I’ve seen that it is easier to go against ever body and do what your heart tells you to do than to regret it years later.

Take risks in life. Either you’ll get what you wanted or you would gain an experience which would be more valuable than anything else in this world.

Fall in love with some body and tell them about your feelings. If they do love you back then spread that happiness everywhere. And if they don’t love you back then fall headlong into a tub of chocolate chip ice cream and emerge back stronger.

Love what you do. And if you can’t love it, then ditch that stupid job and do what you love.

Dress the way you like. If you like what you’re wearing then just don’t give a damn to what others think.

Try new places to eat. Who know what food heaven you might end up finding.

If you really want to buy those funky looking shoes then go running toward those neon pink pumps. They might be super duper expensive but it’s OK to be broke once in a while.

Listen to what your heart says. Do everything you like to do. It’s your life. Do what you want to do with it.

Because someday, when you are 80 and are looking back at your life, you should feel like you’ve utilized every god freaking day and have lived your life to the fullest.

At the end, when the curtain are about to fall,you should have no regrets.

The Crazy Bucket List

10 things you want to do before you die.

Well to be frank there are 395,678,342,659 things I want to do before I die. And most of them involve something extremely crazy. Going to Paris with the love of my life, scuba diving at the great barrier reef in Australia, Stuffing my face with the best of New York’s street food, going to the Oktoberfest in Germany are just some of the normal things I would do.  And I know I would do that. No matter what, these things will be marked as done on my list.

But the not so normal things I want to do are listed below. I want to do more than just these 10, but I figured I’d rather not make it official that I’m crazy but putting them out in public. :D

Now, all these idea’s are not necessarily a fruit of my overactive imagination. I’v stolen some of them from other people.

 

1. Get into a cab and yell “Follow that car!”- We have seen this scene innumerable times in movies. And I’m hell bent on doing this someday.

 

2. Go to a stranger’s wedding and yell “Don’t marry her. I still love you” and the run away as fast as I can. I would love to stay back and look at the expression of ever person there but I’m pretty sure the wedding party would get me admitted at a mental hospital.

 

3. Walk up to a stranger, hand him a briefcase and whisper “You know what to do.” I would get some friend of mine to sit somewhere close by and record the reaction of that person.

 

4. Text “I hid the body” to a random number.

 

5. Go to Sydney and ask random people to help me locate ’42, Wallaby Way, Sydney‘. This address has been stuck in my head ever since I saw ‘Finding Nemo’.

 

6. Every time somebody asks me to do something, ask them if they need fries with that.- I have no idea why I want to do this but I’m sure a couple of times would be enough to drive everybody around me crazy.

 

7. Buy a parrot and teach him to say “Help! I’v been turned into a parrot!”. Oh! the joy of looking at people’s reactions.

 

8. Step into a crowded elevator and say with a perfectly straight face, “I’m sure you all are wondering why I’v gathered you all here today.” And when people start giving me weird expressions, act as if I’m shocked out of my wits and run out screaming.

 

9. Run to a stranger and look at them in horror. Then tell them with great urgency, “They found out about you. You need to leave the country as soon as possible.”

 

10. When I get a sales call, politely answer the phone and  In the middle of the conversation start asking them repeatedly if they believe in ghosts.

That Feeling Called Love

She dabbed some more concealer on the scar. She was good with makeup. Nobody could tell that beneath this layer of expensive makeup were marks that had shattered her. These scars would fade away with time. But the pain that they bought would take a lifetime to leave her heart.

A sprinkle of her favorite perfume and she was ready.

She looked at herself in the long mirror. Dark blue kurta with an embroidered neckline. White churidar and dupatta. Silver bangles jingling at her wrists. She completed the look with her favorite antique jhumka’s that belonged to her grandmother.

She smiled at her reflection. She knew Indian wear suited her. And today after a long time, she had made an effort to look good.

Grabbing her purse, she went down to her car, instructing her driver to take her to this fancy new restaurant where she was to meet him today.

Sitting back, she couldn’t help but remember that day. No matter how much she tried to wipe off every trace of those memories, her mind always went back there. To that day.

They had met through common friends. Both young and in love. He was the perfect guy to her. Moody sometimes, she always thought that was a personality trait. That was just how he was.

He always checked her phone. Going through every text message and the day’s call history. Every message was questioned and every call detail asked.

This was his daily routine. He checked her phone, went through her mails, and never allowed her to meet anybody else. Forget about guys, even her girlfriends were scrutinized by him.

She believed she was madly in love with him and would have died happily for him. And he almost killed her.

Emotional blackmail was an everyday routine. He brainwashed her to an extent that every friend and family seemed like an enemy.

She loved him with all his heart and believed that he was the one for her.

They could have had a fairytale life according to her, if only he was not this possessive. She got scared when he screamed at her. He broke her phone twice in fits of anger.

She would ball up in a corner and cry herself to sleep, praying all the time that he would calm down.

“He loves me, he loves me, he loves me….”.

She would keep saying that to herself whenever he apologized to her after hours of screaming and abusing her.  And when he apologized, he became the angel she had fallen in love with. He showered her with kisses and gifts and seemed like he was genuinely sorry for what he did.

She would forgive him every single time.

Initially it happened once or twice. But soon, the screaming and abusing became an everyday matter. She walked around the house like a zombie. Scared to even breathe. Worrying all the time to not do something that would upset him.

Work was solace for her. A tiny voice inside her always told her that his behavior was wrong but she never found the courage to talk to him about it. This was just how he was. Maybe she was not able to show him how much she loved him.

She spent endless days and nights trying to figure out how to make him understand that she loved him and never wanted him to be angry.

But everything failed. Day after day the verbal abuses and the taunts continued. And with time they seemed to increase. It was like he had a spilt personality. Sometimes he showered her with so much love that she felt overwhelmed. But when he was angry, there was nothing she could do but just keep her head down and let him vent out his fury.

She had signed up for a new project. It meant a new team and more challenging work. She was shifted to a new branch office and was pleasantly surprised when she heard someone greet her in a voice that was vaguely familiar. She turned around and saw her best friend from high school. Tanmay. They had lost contact when they went to different colleges.

Today, after 6 years, he still looked the same. The same infectious smile, same tousled hair, and the same cheerful nature.

And it took him just one look to realize that something was not right with her.

She didn’t smile that freely anymore and rarely talked. This girl was the fun factor of any party. And now it seemed like that spark had died somewhere.

It took almost two weeks for him to have an actual conversation with her. It seemed like she avoided anyone who tried to be friendly with her. She worked hard. Concentrating on every detail of the project. But she rarely mingled with anybody.

Getting her number was an even tougher task. But never gave up on her. He kept trying until finally she started coming out of her shell. She started talking. Not like she used to, but at least she talked.

From coffee breaks to lunch to a text message once in a while.  Slowly she started smiling more often and talked more.

She enjoyed his company. He was always happy, and cheerful. She realized how much she had missed him. She liked working with him and felt good when he noticed how she had taken care of every small detail of this project.

The workload had increased way too much and the deadline for the project was soon approaching. That day, she got late at work and by the time she finished, it was way too late to find a cab back home. She called him up but he didn’t answer. That was enough to tell her that he was furious. She had missed a few of his calls a couple of hours back. She would have to explain to him that she was in a meeting.

One of her colleague offered to drop her home. She knew he would be furious, by this but them she had no other choice. She wanted him to pick her up but he was not answering his phone.

She saw standing on the porch. She felt her heart sink at the very sight of him. He smiled at her colleague and thanked him for dropping her home. But she could tell that he was way beyond angry.

When the car pulled out of their driveway, he grabbed her arm and dragged her inside the house and slapped her so hard, she felt blood in her mouth.

She fell on the floor and before she could react, he picked up a flower vase and aimed it at her face. It smashed against her head. And all she remembered was seeing blood.

That knock was probably what was required to bring her back to her senses.

She did not deserve this. This abusing and screaming. This was not love. This was freak control. She was just a punching bag for him.

He kicked her hard in the ribs and left her squirming in pain.

When he went upstairs, she tried to stand up, only to fall back again for the pain seemed to intensify with every movement.  She dragged herself toward her phone and with every scrap of courage that was left in her, called the police.

They found her 42 minutes later, bleeding and crying. She was curled up in a fetal position. 42 minutes. Every second of these 42 minutes had felt like a lifetime to her. They went upstairs and dragged him down. He hurled abuses at her and promised to come back and kill her.

The police dragging him away was probably the best balm for her wounds. She had suffered enough. She let out a sigh and went to the hospital in the ambulance that was waiting for her. She could finally breathe again.

She was jerked back to reality as the car stopped outside the restaurant. She gathered her wits and stepped out of the car.

It had been 8 months since that day. It was time to move on.

As she walked inside, she was ushered to the table where Tanmay was waiting for her. The look he gave when he saw her gave her butterflies in the stomach. She saw him give her a long appreciative look. And when their eyes met, the depth in his eyes made her realize, that this was what love really felt like.