The Mandatory New Year Post

2016 is about to end and I have realized that I’ve ignored my blog for a considerable amount of time this year.

So I figured it’s only fair that I at least put in a mandatory year end post. You know where I crib about how terrible this year was, or how amazing my friends turned out to be, or maybe how fantastically romantic my boyfriend was all year long.

You get the gist right?

But then that’s what everybody around me is doing. Everyone I meet is either super excited about the new year because 2016 literally sucked for them, or are really at peace because 2016 was the highest point of their entire existence.

For me 2016 turned out to be like a freaking tsunami. It had it’s fair share or super high’s, and then there were times when it’s was rock bottom…fifty feet of crap… and then me. Nothing stable basically. I was an angle half the time and a devil on drugs in the other half.

More than the year that passed away, I was browsing through my life while sitting in the sun as the Delhi winters freeze my toes.

So in the last 26 years of my life have been pretty exciting. And when I say exciting I don’t mean the regular human stuff that happens to everybody. No no no. That’ so not what happens to me. Ever. My stories have always been out of the world.

Like, I have been attacked by crows. Literally. And that too for no fault of mine. I’ve broken toilet seats, have 18 stitches  on my body from the various mishaps that happen with my accident prone body,  have fell down the stairs innumerable times, banged my head on door frames, stubbed my toe so many times that it’s almost numb, fainted in crowded metro trains, almost got a love bite from a camel and other equally embarrassing stuff.

I did have normal experiences as well. Like I’ve traveled to my favorite cities in the world, made friends who will stand like a rock between me and anything that tries to harm me, found my passion, made life changing career decisions and most importantly met the love of my life.

So this year did add it’s fair share of adventures to my life. My best friend got married, I’ve traveled the most of my life this year, understood just how dumb people can behave just because they are “In Love”, realized how important it is to keep your mind busy and most importantly how being happy yourself should be the biggest priority of your life.

So while I sip on imaginary wine as I try to get a little bit warmth from the sun and my blanket I wish you guys a smashing new year. Go out there, get drunk, make new friends, find new hobbies, embrace your passions, fall in love and most importantly love yourself.

Happy New Year!

Cheers!

Of All That Was And Will Be

It keeps getting worse every year. The cold feet, the shivering hands, the numbness in my feet, the claustrophobic feeling of everything closing in of you, and the insane stress of trying to be normal.

For most people their birthday is the happiest day of the year. Then there are some like me who dread the very arrival of that one particular day.

I belong to the minority group in this world who freaks out around her birthday. I can’t pin point why but I believe somewhere around my 13th birthday I started getting this strange feeling. I just didn’t want to talk to anybody or celebrate anything. Cakes became the bane of my existence and presents till date are like a social norm. If somebody gifts me something I feel like I have to return that favor by gifting them something equally good. And for someone like me who also hates shopping (Yes, I know I’m weird), it’s like a curse. So that also gets me in the minority

Don’t get me wrong. I love birthdays in general. If it’s my friend’s birthday, I would do anything and everything in my power to make it the happiest day of their life. In fact at times I’m more excited than them! It’s just that my own birthday gives me the feeling of being trapped in a ventilator shaft.

Every year I try to keep myself calm and every year I fail miserably.

I’m hoping this year would be different.

Happy Birthday to me!

 

*Deep Breathing*

The Inevitability Of It All

It’s the middle of the week and I’m randomly going through wedding pictures by various photographers, (because that’s a part of my job!) while on the phone with my friend coordinating about what all to pack for our bestie’s wedding this weekend. There are clothes, jewelry, shoes, make up and what not to pack!!!

And while we are figuring out all this and making lists, it suddenly hits me again that my best friend is getting married! I say again because for 3 months I was in denial about her wedding.

Don’t get me wrong. I am super happy for this girl and she deserves all the happiness in this world. It’s just that we have come such a long way from freaking out over economics assignments in high school to actually shopping for  her wedding.

It’s so surreal. Searching for that perfect border for the sari, preparing dances, and making elaborate lists of what all to pack. And all this for the girl who I have known for almost a decade. She is legit like my sister.

What makes it hard for me is that she is going to move countries after her wedding. So while we would be in Delhi, she is moving to New York with her husband.

There are preparations going on around the clock and trust me wedding in India are  BIG deal. It’s a once in a lifetime kind of celebration and it’s hangover will remain forever in your mind.

I knew all this was going to happen some day. But it hits you so hard when you see such things actually happening around you. We all would obviously get married and get settled in life but all this really happening is kind of unsettling for me. All of this feels like a dream. I’m still trying to make myself believe that yes all this is really happening. Yes, she is getting married. Yes, she is going to move countries. Yes, all this is was supposed to happen.

It was all inevitable and it’s happening. And was supposed to happen. And it’s all for the best.

So I’m packing up my work and heading to get the best manicure I possibly can get because hello!!!! It’s my best friends wedding!!!!

And I can’t wait for the party to begin!

Because

Because it’s hard to find someone who would understand what you are going through.

Because it takes courage to open up to somebody. Raw and complete.

Because the scariest thing is trying to be brave when deep inside, you have been shattered.

Because at times you will be judged for every decision you ever took.

Because it’s the harsh truth that will finally help you break free.

Because our tiny little mistakes can be the reason of somebody’s heartbreak.

Because at times you want to scream out loud just so that somebody would hear you.

Because smiling through your pain is sometimes the easiest thing to do.

Because you might be surrounded by people all the time but there will be nobody who notices your tears.

Because you have to be your own hero.

Because we are so busy “trying” to be happy that we have forgotten what actual happiness feels like.

Because you’ve cried yourself to sleep on countless nights.

Because nobody has seen your tears.

Because showing people your feelings makes you feel vulnerable.

Because it hurts when nobody understands you.

Because you’ve tried and failed at making people understand.

Because it’s your fake smile that people are used to now.

Because the people you trust the most are the people who will break your heart.

Because the one person you want to talk to is far away.

Because that one person has no idea how you feel.

Because only one voice can sooth your burning soul.

Because it’s not your fault that the world is crashing around you.

Because now you have to be your strongest.

Because this too shall pass…..

Lucky Charms

Do you believe in lucky charms? Do you believe that a piece of jewelry or metal could actually bring you all the good luck that you seek? I for one don’t believe in such things. I don’t think that there really exists something like a trinket or a talisman that could actually work like magic for you.

I’m not here to judge anybody. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And if you believe that a charm or a bracelet could do wonders to you then by all means hold on to that thing with dear life.

But I do believe in people. Somebody once told me that the biggest influence in our life is by the people we surround ourselves with. There are people who would set your mind free with all the positivity in them. And then there are people who would cage all your thoughts and make you look at everything that’s wrong with the world.

Up till now I never really had given this philosophy much thought. But in the past year I’ve observed that there is a certain change in the way I’ve started looking at things. It began in a subtle way and gradually my mind started accepting things which I otherwise would have given up thinking them to be impossible.

I started accepting the fact that no matter what I do some people will never be pleased with me. And trust me this is a hard thing for me to accept because for years I had been trying to become something I wasn’t just to get a simple nod of approval. What seemed like an immense effort came as so easily to me that the simplicity of my decisions stumped me.

I was by no means a rebel but yes I did stand up for what I loved and wanted and gave up on the false hopes of being happy while doing something that I hated. It was like I had been sleep walking all this time and somebody came and lovingly woke me up. The change was so gradual that it took me some time to realize what I had actually done!

It wasn’t until a few weeks back when I finally sat down and thought about what I was really doing because suddenly my life seemed to be going exactly where I wanted it to go!! One year was all it took to shake off 24 years worth of self pity, depression and the insane need to please people.

For most of you it might be an ordinary thing but for me it was the biggest decision of my life. To stand up for what I wanted and not give a damn to the fact that barely anybody supported me. And all this because somebody out there  was standing by my side listening to all the crap that I had to tell and still at the end of every rant tell me that everything will be fine.

4 simple words. Infinite depth in meaning. Everything will be fine.

Sometimes people inadvertently help you just by being there. They don’t do anything or say much, but them just being there with you is probably the biggest asset in your life. They will listen to you, console you, make you laugh and at times unknowing to both of you give you just the correct amount of strength that you needed to get back up and fight the entire god damn world.

I don’t know if it makes me believe in lucky charms…. but it does make me believe in that one person.

 

Life Lessons Via Jim Carrey

 

I must confess that I’m a sucker for inspirational videos. Anything that gives me even an ounce of positivity attracts me like a moth to flame. But recently everything I read or watched gave me absolutely nothing. I mean I want something that would get my grey cells working and make me jump out of my chair to run after my dreams.

So when this video popped up on my Facebook page today, I would have given it a cursory glance, but Jim Carrey has a certain power on me. That man cracks me up like anything. What he said here is literally hands down the best thing I’v seen in a long long loooong time.

Not that it’s something I haven’t watched before or something I don’t know. But there is a certain way to tell something and this man has the ability to knock the air out of you with the way he speaks. It’s very easy to talk about positivity and dreams. But it’s a completely different thing to talk about it in a way that it makes people get up take notice.

15 minutes of pure genius. Also unadulterated love for Jimmy boy! ❤

Lets Talk!

Lets Talk

 

 

There is something really wrong with the world these days. I’m not saying it in the negative way. It’s just that people are really hooked up on the “what’s up” thing!

I mean it gets on your nerves! what’s up??? I don’t know….the ceiling? The sky? God?

There is a plethora of topics to talk about but all people want to know is what’s up. Have we really gotten so shallow that there is nothing we can talk about.  I too have had moments when all I could muster up was the lame what’s up but that happens when I see nothing coming from the other person. And believe me, 99.99% of the times I talk to somebody, there is this huge list of things I need to discuss. And the 0.01% of times I do ask what’s up, it usually means that I’m bored shit and there is nothing the other person is saying to make my mood better or give me food for thought.

If I hear a person say “Aur sunao” or “What’s up” more than 3 times while talking to me, I fake sleepiness or some very important work which had to be done ASAP!

I just can not bear to tell everything I have to say and hear an abrupt ‘OK bye’ from the other end because there was nothing that person had to tell me. Just sitting dumbly and making me do all the talking is lame!

Buck up and talk to me. It could be as boring as the how onions are good for your eyes to something as exciting as bungee jumping from the Eiffel Tower. Get it out of you. Bring out those thoughts. Make a move and start your story and I assure you there are people around who would happily join you and tell you their extremely scandalous funny stories as well!

 

PS: I just wanted to ramble because seriously there is nothing up!!!