The Hustle

It takes immense amount of hard work to get a venture to take off. And I’m just talking of taking it off. Making it big is another ball game altogether.

You form an idea, plan things, make projections, create god knows how many spreadsheets and then make innumerable calls just to get people interested in what you are doing and make them understand your idea.

And in all this you try and find clients for your business. But the day you get your first client is when all that hard work seems worth it.

The rejections, the meetings, the emails, the running across the entire city just to hand over a proposal all seem worth the effort.

But once you start getting clients, you need to scale up your operations so that you get more clients. It’s a vicious cycle I know! But you gotta do it.

So then begins another round of those spreadsheets, calls, emails, running around, meetings….

And in all this, what breaks your confidence is not the rejection. But the delay that happens in the decision making of all the big organisations. I mean for a small venture like our’s, it’s just two people who make all the decisions. If we like it we say yes, if we don’t we reject it.

But when you talk of the multi national organisations, the decision making is long enough to turn your hair white.

I mean even someone like me who never took a minute’s stress in her life can say that she has grey hair. Yeah it’s just one tiny strand of hair but still!!

So you go back to your office, and go over every strategy that you had. You plan and re plan things so that you get things going faster. You cry, you scream, you almost give up and your heart breaks.

For the past couple of months, this has been my life. It’s literally a roller coaster of emotions. One day I’m jumping with excitement because I finalyyyy got that call that I had been waiting for to confirm the meeting that I so badly wanted. And the very next day I’m down in the dumps because something went wrong and just turned all my plans topsy turvy.

There are days when you would want to run away because OH MY GOD!! It’s freaking frustrating to go through all this and still be calm. It takes immense amount of patience to not break someone’s head because at times it’s just crazy!

But it’s all this hustle that makes your journey so exciting. Yes there are low’s but then at the same time there are high points as well. ¬†The low’s force you to think more and be more flexible.

We’ve come a long way from where we started. And from here we are preparing to hustle even harder to make our venture a multi million idea!

Cheers!

 

Back To Blogging

When I started this blog, my sole motive was to get my frustration out. Despite being an extrovert I have trouble expressing my feelings. So I used to keep storing everything inside my mind and explode on anyone who tried to pry too deep.

Writing what I felt made me feel a little more calm and I actually started enjoying the stories that I weaved around what I saw around me.

But lately I faced the biggest writers block that could possibly exist in this world. I just couldn’t get myself to write anything. I had numerous stories to tell but something stopped me from getting it down on paper.

My moods have been erratic lately and I’ve had so much to say but I just can’t bring it out. I try really hard but I go blank every time I sit down to write something.

But today I decided to get my mind to stop making excuses and get back to my dear old blog.

So here’s to many more stories and rants. May god give you all the strength to be able to read it all without killing me.

ūüôā

Don’t Let The Spark Die

There are times when life will make a U-turn from perfectly planned to completely Topsy-turvy! Like literally there’s a path in front of you but you can’t walk on it because there are like a million road blocks that just magically appeared overnight.

And then you realize that everything you had been doing all this time was basically an illusion and you start questioning if you really were worthy of being there.

Then comes the questions and constant self doubting and that sinking feeling of nothing going right.

So you pack your bags and literally leave everything behind and run away. Just so that you can get some time away and try and look at things differently. To get a little perspective.

And when you get away you switch off your phone. You stop talking to people. You basically just want that time for your own. Not because you don’t want people to talk to you. But you just want the silence to engulf you so that your mind gets the clarity that you were running after.

The hills, the fort, the lakeside, the road trips. You do it all.

And that is when you realize that what you were seeking was in front of you all the time. That all you wanted was the confidence back that you had been rocking all this time and it was right there just waiting for you to notice it.

But you had been looking for it in the wrong direction.

So get away from whatever you are doing. Leave that phone behind. Grab that bag and just leave.

Trust me. Sometimes its running away that will help you find the right way.

The Hangover

So I usually don’t get drunk. I have a decent capacity to digest alcohol and the times I do get tipsy, I ensure that I call up my friends and blabber everything that I won’t have told them otherwise. Like the lovey dovey stuff that otherwise would be too cheesy for me.

But the thing is I don’t get drunk like I’m throwing up or passing out. In all my life, I’ve passed out twice. Literally. Once was at a friends wedding, and the other happened this weekend.

So our start up is finally hitting the floors and our team decided to go and chill for the weekend after working our asses off for the past one month without any break. We packed our bags, booked a bus, and stocked up the alcohol and went off happily playing music.

What started as a couple of shots, turned into full fledged gulps from the bottle. But that just made me happy high. Not drunk.

It was the next night when the champagne was popped and the countless vodka shots were distributed followed by the rum and coke and later on topped of with some tequila that yours truly saw the sun and the stars and the moon all at once.

The last thing I remember is throwing up in the bonfire (Yes, throwing up straight into the bonfire) and claiming that I was fine. And I assumed that it was all that happened. I threw up, my friends put me to bed I apologized repeatedly for making that damn mess and fell asleep for two hours. Two hours later I was up and about again with no hangover whatsoever. I swear to god not even a headache. That kinda bummed me out cause I was hoping for a complete blackout and all I got was a two hour nighty-night time.

Since we all had planned to just get drunk and be tipsy for the weekend, we all got into bed and happily slept way past breakfast.

But it was today when the hangover cleared, and the phones were checked, that the night that had passed started unfolding. And that too in the conference room, while we were prepping up for our meeting.

The dancing on the chairs, the pinching of cheeks, death stares to any damn to guy who tried to hit on us girls, the calls that were made and the exe’s and the crushes that were discussed all came out. Bits and pieces that all of us remembered.

After the initial shock that literally threw me off balance in my meeting, I was so happy that I literally aced all the presentations I gave today. I mean I know it was all so surprising but the revelations made me laugh like crazy. This was our first team outing and the stories that we now have from these two days are gonna make us remember this trip was years to come. Even as I type this I’m watching the drunk singing that my colleagues did that I managed to captured in my phone.

Sooooooooo, basically my valentines day became such a mystery that till now half the things are completely wiped out of our memories. We spent every spare minute trying to remember what all we did. And despite that, none of us could remember the exact things that happened that night. And trust me, we couldn’t be happier.

Also, we are planning our next trip. I can’t wait to pack my bags again.

 

 

PS: We took like 20 bottles of alcohol and forgot to pack a single bottle of water for our trip. And since it was a camping trip, the water was a scarce thing. So after throwing up like crazy, we literally gargled with coke that had been spiked with rum.

 

 

That Invisible Line

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You know before I logged in to my blog, I had a million things that I wanted to write. So much to share and literally nobody to talk to. Not because I don’t have people to share it with. I’m blessed in that department actually. It’s just that I have trouble figuring out how to put my worries into sentences that can be understood by normal people.

It’s like I have a million things going on in my mind. And none of them are connected to each other in any way. It’s almost frustrating actually. To have so many voices inside your head and still being quite about it.

So basically karma has decided to kick me in the butt. It’s so true you know, when they say ‘never say never’. Because what’s happening to me is exactly what I used to run away from. I had promised myself I would never ever do it. And yet here I am preparing to the exact same thing.

Aaaaarrrrggggghhhhhhh.

It’s like I’m so comfortable being where I am that it’s not even a zone or a mood anymore. It’s like this was me. I am this place. This is what I am. And yet every good, amazing, exciting, beautiful and insanely crazy stuff is happening on the other side. That side is not where I can be me. I mean, I can be me. Actually I could be amazing there too. It’s just that I’m so freaking nervous about jumping to the other side!!

That bloody place outside my comfort zone. I want to be there but just the mere thought of it makes my heart beat so hard that I worry it might just jump out of my chest. I worry I might be a disappointment. Or worse a failure. I’m not usually this nervous but this thing is a big deal. And it’s kind of a make or break situation. I could be that one person who was destined to do it. Or I could be that idiot who¬†was over confident.

I’m about to cross that invisible line. And I sure as hell pray that I don’t make a fool of myself.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

 

PS: Sorry for not making any sense up there. I just wanted to blabber like an idiot so that I could calm my freaking nerves!

The Mandatory New Year Post

2016 is about to end and I have realized that I’ve ignored my blog for a considerable amount of time this year.

So I figured it’s only fair that I at least put in a mandatory year end post. You know where I crib about how terrible this year was, or how amazing my friends turned out to be, or maybe how fantastically¬†romantic my boyfriend was all year long.

You get the gist right?

But then that’s what everybody around me is doing. Everyone I meet is either super excited about the new year because 2016 literally sucked for them, or are really at peace because 2016 was the highest point of their entire existence.

For me 2016 turned out to be like a freaking tsunami. It had it’s fair share or super high’s, and then there were times when it’s was rock bottom…fifty feet of crap… and then me. Nothing stable basically. I was an angle half the time and a devil on drugs in the other half.

More than the year that passed away, I was browsing through my life while sitting in the sun as the Delhi winters freeze my toes.

So in the last 26 years of my life have been pretty exciting. And when I say exciting I don’t mean the regular human stuff that happens to everybody. No no no. That’ so not what happens to me. Ever. My stories have always been out of the world.

Like, I have been attacked by crows. Literally. And that too for no fault of mine. I’ve broken toilet seats, have 18 stitches ¬†on my body from the various mishaps that happen with my accident prone body, ¬†have fell down the stairs innumerable times, banged my head on door frames, stubbed my toe so many times that it’s almost numb, fainted in crowded metro trains, almost got a love bite from a camel and other equally embarrassing stuff.

I did have normal experiences as well. Like I’ve traveled to my favorite cities in the world, made friends who will stand like a rock between me and anything that tries to harm me, found my passion, made life changing career decisions and most importantly found love in my life.

So this year did add it’s fair share of adventures to my life. My best friend got married, I’ve traveled the most of my life this year, understood just how dumb people can behave just because they are “In Love”, realized how important it is to keep your mind busy and most importantly how being happy yourself should be the biggest priority of your life.

So while I sip on imaginary wine as I try to get a little bit warmth from the sun and my blanket I wish you guys a smashing new year. Go out there, get drunk, make new friends, find new hobbies, embrace your passions, fall in love and most importantly love yourself.

Happy New Year!

Cheers!

Of All That Was And Will Be

It keeps getting worse every year. The cold feet, the shivering hands, the numbness in my feet, the claustrophobic feeling of everything closing in of you, and the insane stress of trying to be normal.

For most people their birthday is the happiest day of the year. Then there are some like me who dread the very arrival of that one particular day.

I belong to the minority group in this world who freaks out around her birthday. I can’t pin point why but I believe somewhere around my 13th birthday I started getting this strange feeling. I just didn’t want to talk to anybody or celebrate anything. Cakes became the bane of my existence and presents till date are like a social norm. If somebody gifts me something I feel like I have to return that favor by gifting them something equally good. And for someone like me who also hates shopping (Yes, I know I’m weird), it’s like a curse. So that also gets me in the minority

Don’t get me wrong. I love birthdays in general. If it’s my friend’s birthday, I would do anything and everything in my power to make it the happiest day of their life. In fact at times I’m more excited than them! It’s just that my own birthday gives me the feeling of being trapped in a ventilator shaft.

Every year I try to keep myself calm and every year I fail miserably.

I’m hoping this year would be different.

Happy Birthday to me!

 

*Deep Breathing*