There are times when all you want to do is howl and scream your heart out….and cry yourself to sleep. But all you can do is smile and pretend that everything is fine. When every fiber your being wants to run away and never come back. When breathing becomes a task. When nobody seems to understand what you are trying to say….not because they can’t understand, but because you are unable to tell them how much it hurts inside.
When being alone is the best part of your day, but nobody will ever leave you alone to enjoy that solitude. When eyes run dry of tears and nothing seems to fill the gap inside you. When advise’s flow in from everywhere and you are unable to tell people that it’s not advise that you want. And what you want is something they will never understand. Because you yourself are unable to get rid of the storm inside you.
You know something is wrong and thinking straight takes effort. When hurting yourself seems tempting but you know that it will never prove a point. When everything seems to fall apart and you are made to watch your life shredded into pieces. When you end up hurting the people closest to you. When nothing you say seems to make sense to anybody. And eventually your words lose all sense to you as well….
At that exact moment you need to be your strongest. When nothing seems right and nobody understands you. It is possible that you and only you can make sense of whats going on. Hold on to that. Because at that exact moment, you will finally come face to face with the real you.
I’m really not a confession type person. I would rather keep things a secret than scandalising or weirding out somebody. And since this is a public platform I have no idea what to confess. Because once I hit publish on this post, it going to stay on the internet forever. So there’s going to be no turning back from here.
So let’s just say this: there has been a major change in my life. Something that I thought would never happen, And yet it is now really happening and I have no idea whether I should to be stumped into silence or jump around the city like a mad woman.
Go have fun with this!
And with this I officially complete my 10 day blogging challenge. I was thinking I would be bored by the third day but surprisingly I kept going. *pat’s herself on the back*
So here’s to many more such challenges and better writing.
Till next time…
2 smileys that describe my life right now
I don’t know what smileys would describe my life at this moment, but I’ve realised that my all time most used smileys are these two. I don’t remember a conversation where I haven’t used at least on of these.
3 Turn On’s
1. Gentlemen who know how to treat a woman with respect and dignity.
2. Eye’s that can do all the talking.
3. A strong passion in life. A passion that drives you to fight against all odds.
4 Turn Off’s
1. “I will kill my daughter/son because they married for love” / “Abort this fetus because it’s a girl” / “Rapes happen because girls mingle with boys freely”/ “Divorce is a social stigma. You will have to live with your husband even if he treats you like shit.” / “Hindu’s and muslims are sworn enemies. They can never live peacefully together” – Basically all the nonsense that goes on in my country in the name of religion, or so called “Indian Values” or culture.
2. “Why are you so obsessed with reading novels? Isn’t it better if you read your curriculum books? Novels are just a waste of time.”- Seriously dude! If you don’t like reading novels then I pity you. You are missing out on something stunningly amazing.
3. “Photography is just a hobby. It can never become a profession. Especially for girls.”- Challenge Accepted.
4. Sandals with socks. They are a fashion disaster. If you ever come in front of me wearing it, I vow to make your life hell.
5 People Who Mean A Lot to me (in no order whatsoever)
1. Suchita: My crazy bff and the source of my life’s entertainment. I plan to write a book on her life some day. It has some major drama, romance, fight sequences, struggles, glory and all the masala required for a block buster bollywood movie.
2. Sneha: My fashion adviser and the one person I am most proud of. She is the reason I make an effort to get ready, because when I’m standing next to someone who looks like she’s coming straight from a fashion shoot, I don’t want to look like a homeless beggar.
3. Mayank: My partner in crime and the reason of my being a part time photographer. Though there are times I hate him right down to his bones because he introduced me to Game Of Throne, I will always love him for ‘Friends’, ‘Big Bang Theory’, “Two and a half men’ and god know what all.
4. Bakul: My brother from another mother. He is the only person who completely understands my craziness. I know he is just one call away if I ever need him for absolutely anything. Also, he is the one person who shares my passion for awesome food.
5. The voices in my head: Yes yes, I know it’s not technically a ‘person’ but I gotta mention them. It’s because of them that I’m a little sane. Probably because they are always there with me, giving me advice and random tit bits to think about.
PS: I’ve kept out family for obvious reasons.
PPS: There are a lot more people than the above mentioned that mean the world to me.
PPPS: Sorry for so many ‘PS’s” :P