He was surprised at how easily he was able to talk to her. He had kept himself locked up inside a shell for as long as he could remember. But today it seemed like that shell had broken and he was finally free.
He had no idea where the night went. There were traces of memory when his friends left, equally surprised at his behaviour. All he knew was he had no need for more alcohol that night. He was far too drunk on her energy. Her stories, her life, the carefree attitude she had and the way she made even the most mundane topic so lively.
He loved how her hands moved in gestures when she talked. There was passion inside her that made her eyes sparkle.
Yes, she was different. There was something very extraordinary about her that he couldn’t explain. And that made him even more curious about her. They talked late into the night. It seemed so easy to talk to this stranger. But after 5 hours of non stop talking it didn’t feel strange anymore.
Something connected and he was hell bent to make sure this connection didn’t break.
Next morning he smiled while looking at his phone.
“We have to hang out again. Lets meet for lunch.”, she had texted.
For the first time years, he looked forward to something other than work.
“No”, He replied smiling. “But it seems like you recognize me.”
She was taken aback by his answer. His lips were smiling but she could see the darkness in his eyes. Darkness that was alluringly deep. And in those depths she saw the recognition.
There was no doubt that he recognised her as well. What she found astounding was that a 5 second glance had such an impact. Not only on her, but on him as well.
She smiled and shook her head. There was no use hiding it. They could go on playing games all night but the truth remained that they both remembered.
“Yes”, she replied laughing. “I have an uncanny ability to remember people who stare at me with a piercing gaze at random coffee houses.”
He laughed at her answer and her heart was left clinging on to those eyes that twinkled with his laughter.
“I’m sorry for that.” He replied. “I didn’t mean my gaze to be piercing. But your eyes seemed to love it anyways. Their gaze was locked with my eyes till the time you left”
Do not fall in love with the photographer in me. I will take innumerable pictures of us together so you would never be able to take out of your site the memories we created.
Do not fall in love with the traveler in me. I will take you along to the most beautiful locations on earth so that every time you travel somewhere alone your heart will yearn for me.
Do not fall in love with the writer in me. I will write letters and notes for you that would tell you everything that I find hard to say out loud; so your mind will be filled with the words I never spoke.
Do not fall in love with the avid reader in me. I will dive deep into a book and be lost for days only to come back into reality and make you read the most romantic and passionate lines I had read, so that every time you hear about love your eyes search for me.
Do not fall in love with me….I will bring to your life the addiction you had been avoiding all this time….
There are times when all you want to do is howl and scream your heart out….and cry yourself to sleep. But all you can do is smile and pretend that everything is fine. When every fiber your being wants to run away and never come back. When breathing becomes a task. When nobody seems to understand what you are trying to say….not because they can’t understand, but because you are unable to tell them how much it hurts inside.
When being alone is the best part of your day, but nobody will ever leave you alone to enjoy that solitude. When eyes run dry of tears and nothing seems to fill the gap inside you. When advise’s flow in from everywhere and you are unable to tell people that it’s not advise that you want. And what you want is something they will never understand. Because you yourself are unable to get rid of the storm inside you.
You know something is wrong and thinking straight takes effort. When hurting yourself seems tempting but you know that it will never prove a point. When everything seems to fall apart and you are made to watch your life shredded into pieces. When you end up hurting the people closest to you. When nothing you say seems to make sense to anybody. And eventually your words lose all sense to you as well….
At that exact moment you need to be your strongest. When nothing seems right and nobody understands you. It is possible that you and only you can make sense of whats going on. Hold on to that. Because at that exact moment, you will finally come face to face with the real you.