They say when a person grows old and realises that his life is about to end soon, he can clearly remember everything that happened in his life. All the choices he made, the decisions he took, the joys and the sorrows. But what he remembers and regrets most is all those things that he did not or could not do.
What was done is over, but what could not be done is what makes you realise how things would have been so different if only one had the guts to go ahead with what his heart wanted to do.
Family, money, ego, fear or anything that stopped him from doing what he most wanted to do. It’s ironical how you realise all this when you can do absolutely nothing about it.
But, the thing is, if we all know this, that we might end up regretting not doing something, then why don’t we just follow our heart?
I am hopefully nowhere near death, 😛 but there are things that I really regret not doing. It’s not that I did not do anything that my heart said. Believe me I’v had a rocking life, but there are still things that I wished I had done without thinking too much about their consequences.
Yes, life would have been different today had I made a different decision. Today, as I sit back and think about my life, there is this long list of things that I realise I wanted to do in my life but for some reason I never did them.
For example, I always wanted to learn how to play the guitar. I had the opportunity and I still have a guitar at my home but I’m just too lazy to pick it up and learn something. And this also includes the piano. I started learning the piano, learned some stuff, but for some reason still unknown to me, I stopped mid way and till now I’v not learned the whole thing.
But what I regret the most is not saying sorry when I knew I was wrong but my supreme ass of an ego always got in between and I kept sulking. I wish I had the courage then to kick my ego and just say sorry to the people who meant so much to me, but I lost them because of the non communication which resulted chiefly because of me 😦 .
Today, I take this opportunity, to apologise to everybody who was hurt because of me. I’m sorry for being such an ass.
Even if nobody forgives me (which in some cases I can totally understand because I’v been a complete jerk), I can have the satisfaction of at least trying to make things better again by agreeing that I was wrong.
Yes, thing would never be the same. I know just an apology would never be enough but we would have the memories of all the good times. So that maybe when I celebrate my hundredth birthday, I can happily look back at all those good days and say, that yes, it was a life lived well…..
PS- Yamaha, if you are reading this I’m really sorry for being such an idiot.
PPS- Yamaha was my closest friend. And no, his name is really not Yamaha, it’s just what I call him. 😛