So it is my last day on the good side of 25 and its freaking me out! I am currently suffering what I call the quarter century crisis. Its not a word I know! But this term exists in my world and I am going through its worse phase.
Google says I have Fragapanophobia….Big fancy word for my insane phobia regarding my birthday!! It took me like 10 seconds to just get the pronunciation of it correct!
I know its crazy but I just hate growing up! OK no, lets correct that, I hate growing old. Typical girl thing to stay 16 forever but no. I am in fact an even bigger nut case. I want to be 4 forever!! Where I don’t have to worry about my career, my college, my work, money, making people like me or just getting my eyebrows groomed!!!!
I hate hate hate hate hate the month of December. Not only does an entire calendar year comes to an end but I always feel like an entire year of my life just went by and I have nothing to show of it.
There is no denying that this year was really dramatic for me. If last year somebody had told me that this is what I would have by the end of 365 days I would have laughed my heart out. Believe me. There were fights, angry words, insane amount of eye rolling, lost friendships, awesome trips, silent tears that never came out, screaming, weddings, new jobs, existential crisis and what not!!! In one word, it was drama!
I’m all fidgety here, trying to keep my nerves calm so that I don’t break down. I mean I had always envisioned so much in my life by the time I turned 25. But what I have today is exactly the opposite. In fact I don’t even know what I have.
And the worst part is that there is nothing you can do and be patient and accept the fact that there is another year just gone by.
I know all the 40 year old’s out there would be rolling their eyes at the poor little kid who thinks 25 is the worst age of all but you really gotta live my life to understand how bad it is. Like really bad.
Oh well I’m just in a really crappy mood right now.