Of All That Was And Will Be

It keeps getting worse every year. The cold feet, the shivering hands, the numbness in my feet, the claustrophobic feeling of everything closing in of you, and the insane stress of trying to be normal.

For most people their birthday is the happiest day of the year. Then there are some like me who dread the very arrival of that one particular day.

I belong to the minority group in this world who freaks out around her birthday. I can’t pin point why but I believe somewhere around my 13th birthday I started getting this strange feeling. I just didn’t want to talk to anybody or celebrate anything. Cakes became the bane of my existence and presents till date are like a social norm. If somebody gifts me something I feel like I have to return that favor by gifting them something equally good. And for someone like me who also hates shopping (Yes, I know I’m weird), it’s like a curse. So that also gets me in the minority

Don’t get me wrong. I love birthdays in general. If it’s my friend’s birthday, I would do anything and everything in my power to make it the happiest day of their life. In fact at times I’m more excited than them! It’s just that my own birthday gives me the feeling of being trapped in a ventilator shaft.

Every year I try to keep myself calm and every year I fail miserably.

I’m hoping this year would be different.

Happy Birthday to me!

 

*Deep Breathing*

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