Quarter Century Crisis

So it is my last day on the good side of 25 and its freaking me out! I am currently suffering what I call the quarter century crisis. Its not a word I know! But this term exists in my world and I am going through its worse phase.

Google says I have Fragapanophobia….Big fancy word for my insane phobia regarding my birthday!! It took me like 10 seconds to just get the pronunciation of it correct!

I know its crazy but I just hate growing up! OK no, lets correct that, I hate growing old. Typical girl thing to stay 16 forever but no. I am in fact an even bigger nut case. I want to be 4 forever!! Where I don’t have to worry about my career, my college, my work, money, making people like me or just getting my eyebrows groomed!!!!

I hate hate hate hate hate the month of December. Not only does an entire calendar year comes to an end but I always feel like an entire year of my life just went by and I have nothing to show of it.

There is no denying that this year was really dramatic for me. If last year somebody had told me that this is what I would have by the end of 365 days I would have laughed my heart out. Believe me. There were fights, angry words, insane amount of eye rolling, lost friendships, awesome trips, silent tears that never came out, screaming, weddings, new jobs, existential crisis and what not!!! In one word, it was drama!

I’m all fidgety here, trying to keep my nerves calm so that I don’t break down. I mean I had always envisioned so much in my life by the time I turned 25. But what I have today is exactly the opposite. In fact I don’t even know what I have.

And the worst part is that there is nothing you can do and be patient and accept the fact that there is another year just gone by.

I know all the 40 year old’s out there would be rolling their eyes at the poor little kid who thinks 25 is the worst age of all but you really gotta live my life to understand how bad it is. Like really bad.

Oh well I’m just in a really crappy mood right now.

Sigh

 

 

Gloomy Rantings

Every year, the month of December finds me in my gloomiest of moods. I’m snappy, I get irritated very fast and it’s basically an entire year of crappiness stuffed into one month.

Why you ask? Well because every year in December, I turn a little older and a lot less wiser.

With every passing year, I realize that there was so much I had to do or achieve but I’ve barely done anything and end up cribbing. Not that I do nothing all year round. It’s just that my expectations arise from a fantasy land far-far away and it’s hard to fulfill them on earth.  :-/

So basically, I dread December. I love the winter season it brings with it, but anything other than that is just crappy. I find some solace in Christmas, but since that’s really not a big deal in India, so it’s basically just stuffing myself with plum cake and reading ‘A Christmas Carol’.

I try and find ways to just slog through this month and I’m at my happiest on New Year. An entire new year to make resolutions and then forget all about them within the first 24 hours is pretty exciting for me.

Every year, I make a long list of stuff I want to do and then end up doing everything exactly opposite to that list. Like last year I had solemnly swore that I will, no matter what, learn to play the guitar. And now, as this year is counting its last breaths, I realize that I didn’t even bother to get the damn thing out of the storage room. Forget about playing it.

So for eleven months I’m at my happiest, optimistic, craziest best! But come December, and all I want to do is go up on my terrace, with a blanket and lie all day in the sun, light a bonfire at night and not come down till January.

The worst part about December is that I get a year older every time it rolls in. And I don’t like getting old! If it was in my hands, I would have stopped at four. But since that’s not an option, I end up being a year older in age even though in my mind I’m still a toddler.

So here’s to another age milestone that I’m about to cross. I have no hopes from this month but let’s not bum out everybody else.

Happy December everybody!

Live long and prosper.

 

P.S- ‘A Christmas Carol’ was first published in London on 19th December 1843. So today is the 171st birthday of this classic novella !

I wish I could remain A 5 Year Old Forever

you-want-a-piece-of-me

In a couple of day’s I’l be a year older and believe me its not a good feeling.

And for all those out there who think age is just a number, try being a daughter in a Punjabi family which like a good family would at every point in life keep encouraging you to study and get filthy successful, but on the other hand on every visit to the mall or any god forsaken market that sells clothes, your mom or sister’s or aunts or cousins would pick up a blingy ‘you-will-be-blind-if-you-stare-at-me-for-long‘ sari and naughtily point out that they would buy this for your wedding.

Yes, we eat, think, talk, walk, dream, breath and even shit weddings.

And every year when you cut your birthday cake, everybody around you would mentally start counting the years left for you to get married.

And before you think that they are all excited about seeing you settled in life and are therefore planning your wedding, you are wrong. Your wedding would be the biggest excuse for your entire extended clan to shop till they drop and basically bring down their saving by a good 75% .

And that is what is going to happen to me. As girl in her 20’s who is well on her way to getting a professional degree, you tend to generate quite some interest in the eye’s of all the aunties around you.

But since I have two cousin sister’s older than me who according to the unwritten Indian wedding constitution should/would get married before me because for some weird reason, the older sibling gets married first. Until unless obviously a younger sibling finds their soul mate and decides to get married before anybody else in the family. So I can sit back calmly and point at them whenever the word ‘wedding’ is mentioned in front of me.

And yes, I too am interested in all the clothes I’l be buying and all the fun I’l be having at their wedding! 😛

But coming to the point of my growing old. I’m not growing old. At least not mentally. I’m still 5 in my mind and I would go bonkers just at the sight of balloons. And joy rides! And candy! I love candy! And Cartoon Network!

You get the point right?

So that means I’v survived another year in a world which is full of people who love growing up and they love their birthdays. I on the other hand am really not excited about my birthday. Ever. I love everybody else’s birthday. I love planning about them and I love being a part of surprises. I just don’t feel the same way about my birthday. 

Yes. I belong to the minority population of people who are really not bothered about their birthday’s. 

Why you ask?

I have no idea. I just can not get to the terms of celebrating my birthday. When I was young I used to celebrate my birthday at my home with all my friends and relatives. But as I grew up I just could not see any sense in continuing it. 

I do have some crazy friends who for the past couple of years have been throwing surprise birthday parties for me. Thanks Guys! 

But this year I somehow feel Iv really grown up. I mean like REALLY grown up. The number scares me because whenever I planned my life, I thought that by this birthday I would be earning a fat salary and shopping like crazy and maybe go to some exotic location with my friends for vacations. 

But nothing like this has happened. I’m still studying. Iv changed my choice of profession. I’m working in my dad’s office. I’m still not earning. OK, I’m earning but if I ever tell you the figure you would laugh your guts out.

So basically life did a complete U turn for me and I’m just sitting here trying to figure out how to get everything back on track. It’s not bad. I mean I just consider myself awesome and I pretty much don’t worry about stuff much. 😛

But every year on my birthday I just sit down and list down all the good and bad things that happened to me and I always make sure that I count every good thing and blessing that came my way. 

So this year I maybe looking at matrimonial prospects in my family which is like the BIGGEST sign that you’v grown up no matter how much you deny it.

So here’s to another year of actually being 5 years old in your mind but making sure nobody around you notices that. 😛 

It’s My Best Friend’s Birthday!

 

images

Yay!! It’s my best friends birthday! And though we all have a work day today (which totally suck) I hope she has a smashing day and a wonderful life ahead. May you get all the success in life and the best of all things nice!

You are one of the best things that has happened to me. Have a lovely year ahead.

Happy birthday Darling!!

 

Oh! And this is for you….

 

funny