Happily Ever After

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My grandparents are celebrating their anniversary today. They are celebrating their togetherness which completes six and a half decades today.

65 years…That’s a really long time.

In a commitment phobic world like today, where being together for 65 months is considered a landmark achievement, these two have  held together for a almost a lifetime.

I should be the last person to talk about commitments because I’m probably the biggest commitment phobic you’l ever meet. Not because I don’t believe that I’l find true love someday or that I won’t be able to bond with somebody for life, but just because I have such a negative attitude towards relationships that I run away from any person who tries to connect with me emotionally.

For a chatterbox like me, who can make friends anywhere in the world I have just a handful of people who I really call my friends. People who stood by me when even I had given up on myself.

I don’t what makes me do this, but every time somebody connects with me on an emotional level, I run away from that person at a lightening fast speed. Partially because I fear I’l break my heart. And partially because I fear I’l break that persons heart.

And I have immense respect for the people in my life who are still with me despite my behaving like an utterly unreasonable bitch! I have screamed, cursed, fought and walked out on them and yet they still came back to me when I was done spewing venom. And the worst part is, that even though I know that I do is wrong, I still can’t get myself to get so close to somebody that I end up being habituated to him.

I worry and over analyse every aspect of every feeling I have for that person and if I see even and iota of tenderness inside me, I bolt!

But when I look at my grandparents, and see them so happy together *touchwood*, the feeling is out of this world. Two people who were were married as per the customs of ancient India at the age of 10 and 8, these two have evolved from from being strangers, to friends, to lovers to parents and to grandparents!

And life was not always easy for them. My grandfather left for higher studies and then for work leaving my grandmother with the kids. In those times, when there were hardly any means of communication,these two managed to stay together. And that too after taking into consideration the fact that my grandmother was not allowed to go to school by her in-laws and could not read or write.  So writing love letters was out of question.

They have braved tough times together, and have seen happy times in abundance. They recently welcomed their fifth grandchild into this world and are now preparing for their eldest grandchild to get married.

And it’s not that everything is always lovey-dovey for them. Sometimes they behave like two toddlers locked up in a room with just one toy to play with! They fight like kids and argue about lame things. Then both of them go into separate rooms and emerge an hour later because they were hungry!

These two are the only reason why I, despite being a commitment phobic believe that someday I too would get that happy ending. And I hope and pray that my happily ever after looks like what I see with these two. Not the flowers and gift type materialistic love. But something so deep that you never need words to express it.

 

 

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Soulmates

She sat down under the huge banyan tree. It was at the very edge of the cliff. Sitting under that tree you could see the entire valley spread out like a painting in front of you.

She loved coming here. It was their spot. He had brought her here on their first date. She had found it odd when he told her that they were going away from the city for their first date. Usually people chose a nice restaurant or a coffee place.

But the moment she laid her eyes on this place, she knew that no other place could have created the magic that this place did. They sat there for hours, talking away on random stuff.

He had a brilliant sense of humor. Though he looked like a serious type person, he was a lot more fun to talk to.

They started dating and both got on like a house on fire.

She was the non emotional type. Fun, bubbly and never actually getting serious in life or in relationships. He was the complete opposite. Serious and nerdy. He never made many friends and preferred to stay alone.

Both of them in the very beginning of their relationship understood that each wanted different things from each other. He was in for the long haul. Falling more and more in love with her with every passing day. She on the other hand was just casually dating.

She tried explaining it to him innumerable times that she was phobic to commitment and would probably never commit for life. But he always just smiled and changed the topic.

Nevertheless they were together. Like chalk and cheese they were completely opposite. And this was probably the reason they went along so well. They filled each other’s gaps and completed the picture together.

She slowly started getting him out of his shell and his influence made her more practical and patient.

They were the perfect examples of the theory which says opposites attract. And eventually she too fell in love with him.

Sitting under that tree today, she remembered the day he was to come to her place and ask her father for her hand in marriage.

She had barely slept last night and she impatiently walked up and down the hallway waiting for him.

She ran towards the door when she heard a car pulling into her driveway. Her dad welcomed them home and within the next 6 months they were married.

Together they built a marriage which lasted nearly five decades. She loved him with all her heart and laughed at herself, thinking how childish her thoughts on commitment had been.

He was there with her through every up and down and they together sailed their ship through the sea of life.

She was lost in her memories when she heard somebody call out to her from behind.

“Grandma, come let’s play!”

It was their 2 year old grandchild. She smiled at him. He has his grandfather’s eyes.

She took out a single red rose from her bag and laid it under the tree. It was his favorite flower. He often bought bouquets of fragrant crimson roses for her.

It has been 7 years since he left them for his heavenly abode, and every year, this day she comes here and relives that first date. The fateful day when she met her soul mate.

 

Relationships- The Long And Short Of It

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“I mean, if the relationship can’t survive the long term, why on earth would it be worth my time and energy for the short term?” 

 Nicholas Sparks

We are living in times when being in a relationship for a long period is probably the biggest accomplishment of your life.
Gone are the days when lovers were ready to fight the world for their beloved’s. Now from what I’v seen is mostly drama and fighting which proves quite entertaining for other people. Most of us now have the ‘Commitment Phobia’.
I know there might be people out there madly in love, rolling their eye’s at me, but seriously, just listen to me.
You find someone you are attracted to. You gather all the gut’s it takes to ask them out for coffee. You meet for coffee and get to know about each other, only to find out you two think on the same lines and have so much in common. You decide to go on another date which ultimately leads to numerous other dates, and finally you two believe you two are in love.
The guy would try and make the girl happy at any cost. He would probably drive 10 kilometer’s in rain just to meet that girl. He would maybe stay away from his friends or ask them to be at their most decent behavior when they meet the girl. 
He would find her to be the most beautiful woman on earth. Willing to do anything to just make her smile.
She would take extra efforts to look pretty for him. Dress up in the best possible way and be totally stumped by this man who she believes is the one . She would find him Oh! so funny and so intelligent and emotionally available.
This would go on for like a couple of months where every color would look brighter, every song would be like it was written for you, and your life would seem like a movie!
But after this period passes, there come’s a time when they would start thinking as to why should you text the other person about your whereabouts every single time. And maybe it’s not important to send the picture of every food item you are about to have. Or why do you have to keep postponing the plan you made with your bff’s because your boyfriend/girlfriend has made the plan to watch this great movie.
The guy starts feeling that there is way too much pressure involved to keep the lady love happy and the girl finds it hard to believe that their boyfriend would rather sit at home and waste the entire day with his friends playing on his PSP rather than go out shopping with her!! Gasp! Shock! Horror!
The girl would cry her heart out to her best friend who would sympathize with her  and tell her that ‘all men are same’.
The guy would start thinking that his career needs way more attention and this is probably the best time in his life to focus on his future.
They would try and get things on track again. The girl would barely dress up and look pretty for him and he would shorten the time of their meetings.
Slowly both would end up arguing and fighting most of the times. They would find little little habits in each other which irritate the hell out of them. They try and change these habits and first gently and finally bluntly tell the other person as to how such shirt does not suit him or how her frankness is so embarrassing.
Nothing seems right but they still give one last and final chance to their relationship.
And when that also does not work, they break up and tell themselves that it was never meant to be and he/she was no more the person they fell in love with in the first place.
Great!!
That is what happens most of the time. Not always, but yeah mostly. We are just not willing to give in the supreme amount of effort and patience it takes to make a relationship work and survive the test of time.
We are the ultra fast generation who wants everything laid down on a platter where we are not supposed to do any work and just enjoy being in the ‘honeymoon phase’ always.
But if there is anybody out there who is madly in love and are living that perfect life and have that perfect story, then this post was probably not for you.You guy’s have really found the one and believe me you guys make love seem real.