Please Listen To Me. I Want To Ramble.

I can’t believe the first month of this year is already gone! I mean yeah there were days when I felt like time had stopped and nothing can make the earth rotate faster. But now as I turn the page of the calendar to a new month I realize how time actually flew away.

I had been waiting for February for so long! There is so much I have to do this month. And now that this month is actually here, I fear like I won’t be able to live up to all the excitement and expectations I have kind of thrown at this poor little month.

I think expecting too much from anything, including something completely imaginary like my fantasies is going to be like too much pressure. It’s like I have to make sure I have fun.

Like last weekend! I had such plans for those three days! Everything was ready and decided. But what actually happened was that I sprained my back and basically spent all five days on my couch, too much in pain to even curl up comfortably.

Imagine lying on a couch for that long and not even being comfortable! It’s like going to Disneyland and not going on any ride!!!

It was torture.

And why did that happen? Because I expected far too much fun from a weekend. And also because I kinda jumped out of bed in a way that paralyzed my back!

Imagine that! I was supposed to get up for college but a 5 min snooze turned out to be a 45 minute nap. And when I finally woke up and saw the time, I had a mini heart attack. And then whatever ‘jumping out of bed’ happened, resulted in me being practically paralyzed with such excruciating pain that even going to the loo was a torture.

Also, I broke the chain of one of my most favorite necklace! And I need to wera it again soon! So I have to do something about that damn thing!

Aaaaaaand I can’t find a decent pair of sneakers anywhere. Everything is either too girly or too manly. I need something in the middle. Though this logic has made my mother certify me as crazy once again, I still need something that would neither make me look like a  very manly girl nor like Tinkerbell out for a run!

And now as I write that down I realize where I’ve been going wrong all these days.

What is wrong with the universe!

I know all this makes absolutely no sense to anybody, but I just wanted to ramble aimlessly for some time.

I love you all so much.

 

PS- I’m been freakishly moody these days. Not the PMS moody. Almost like I was drunk. And not the ‘throw up and the pass out’ drunk. Like hugging every random person and saying “I love you so much. You are my true friend” kind of drunk!

Loving My Job

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Let me start by clarifying the title of this post. When I say job, I don’t mean my day job. Oh! No sir. My day job is a boring desk job which requires me to stare at a computer screen for hours at end.

The job I love is the one which I do after I leave office. And that is running off to a wedding and capturing memories.

I’m a part time wedding photographer and I love every part of that job.

And this love comes naturally to me, simply because I adore weddings. Not the cheesy kind of adoration like “Oh! I wonder when will I get married”. No. I mean yeah I think about my wedding. Every girl does. And if you see any girl saying that she is not interested in her wedding or has not thought about it, believe me when I say this, is lying. And my thinking is mostly about the poor guy who would end up with the craziness that I am. 😛

Anyways, coming back to the point, if you’ve ever been to an Indian wedding, you’ll know how electric the entire atmosphere gets. There is madness and chaos everywhere. Men running around arranging that perfect tent and getting stuff for the halwai. The women being all bothered about the arrival of the mehendi wala, their clothes, their jewelry and gossip.

People running around the place, bumping into things and getting all flustered while trying to get ready for the big fat Indian wedding.

And in all this chaos, I find my happy place. Where I can stay somewhere in the background and capture memories for them which they would cherish for decades.

Though let me tell you, it’s not easy for me being a wedding photographer. There are so many people who appreciate what I’m doing, and an equal number of people who exclaim at my choice of career. And the questions they ask me are always baffling.

Like, “ Beta, aren’t your parents worried that you come home late at night?” To which I reply, “Umm…No aunty, I’m never out alone and I try and reach home a decent time.”

Or, “So why are you going for law degree when all you want to do is click pictures?”  Here all I can say is, “Well, I like law. And besides, in this country you’re pretty useless if you don’t have a degree to show off even if you have no intentions of using it.”

And the cherry on the cake was, “Isn’t this camera a bit too heavy for a girl to carry around all day?”. To this date I have no answer for this question. I mean if it was too heavy for me to carry it around, why would I be doing it??

But all these inquiries about my life choices from random strangers just adds to the insane fun that I have at each event.

I come home drop dead tired from every wedding
and sleep like a baby knowing that I’ve done a good job.

And even though going through thousand of pictures, short listing them and then finally editing them is a humongous task, I still love doing it.

Because the look of appreciation I get from the people when they see the pictures for the first time is priceless.

And no pay check in this world can ever give me the happiness that I get from knowing that people appreciate my hard work. (A Ten Million Dollars check might come close, but let’s be realistic shall we!) 😛

 

Picture : Clickaholicks

Run Up To The Party

So tomorrow is the big day. My cousin’s engagement party begins at 8 tomorrow and we are literally so psyched about it. Yes there are still tons of things left to be done, like the bride STILL has not found those perfect shoes. I mean the party is exactly 24 hours from now and she is still searching for the perfect, not so blingy, sky high pair of heels. Poor girl has been running from pillar to post in search of them and to top all that she has so much work at her office. It really is a miracle that she has not burst into hysterical tears till now.

It’s sheer excitement in our house these days. There are guests lists, bags, bangles, shoes, bottles of whiskey just kept randomly at any place. Not that I mind any of it. All this just makes one feel all the excitement that is going into planning this party.

For our parents it’s more of a ritual. The rings shall be exchanged, the gifts shall be given to the boy and the girl, and it would make everything official. So from being boyfriend and girlfriend, they shall be promoted to become each other’s fiancé and fiancée.

But for us it’s gonna be one hell of a party. The entire family is going to be there. We’ll have music, alcohol, a photo booth and some amazingly delicious food!!(To be frank I’m more excited about the food 😛 ) Add a good DJ to it and we’re all set to dance the night away.

So here’s to endless dancing and crazy picture clicking. I hope this party kick starts an amazing life for these two.

Boom Boom Bang!

It’s that time of the year again. The roads are choked with cars, people are stuffing their faces with every possible delicacy ever known in the history of Indian cuisine, houses are spotlessly clean, there are fairy lights everywhere you turn, nearly blinding you and by now you must have forgotten  the number of times you jumped out of your skin because some random kids were bursting crackers somewhere in the vicinity, freaking the bats out of you.

Welcome to the annual Indian madness everyone! It’s Diwali time!

I love the feeling I get when this festival is around the corner. Unlike Holi where the oldies shy away from having a blast, Diwali is that one time of the year when every single person shall be out on the roads to shop, meet their relatives and be a part of the biggest festival in the country.

It’s sheer madness no doubt, but so much fun!  It’s that one time of the year when you get meet your entire extended family. There’s the yummiest possible food, unlimited gifts, new clothes and the one chance to get anything you want from your parents as a Diwali gift! Well, almost anything.

And as I write all this, I’m surrounded with the gifts and sweets we’ve received so far as gifts. Just one look at them and I know all my weight loss resolutions have gone down the drain. Not that I’m complaining. : P I mean no little black dress can give me the happiness like a box of kaju katli can. Or maybe it can?!? Damn it! I should have stopped at the first box! :-/

Oh! Well it’s too late now so I’ll just go and dive headlong into a box of laddoo’s.

Happy Diwali everybody!!! 😀

 

No Regrets

Long time back, when I was in school, I was addicted to those Agatha Christie novels. I used to read them like crazy and I believe I must have read all of them.

One of my favorite of her books is “After the Funeral”; A mystery of revolving around the murder of Mr. Richard Abernethie and his sister Cora.

I don’t really remember all the character now but I remember at one point this guy asks his sister, “Don’t you have any regrets?”, and she calmly replies, “It’s a waste of time, having regrets”.

This dialogue has been stuck in my head ever since. I read numerous other novels after this one but no other dialogue ever appealed me as this one did.

Regret. Those sad disappointing feelings that sometimes feel like they are piercing your heart.

So many times in life we fail to do something which ultimately makes us regret that moment for years to come.

Logic, society, common sense, manners, fear and god knows what all has stopped us from doing what we always wanted to do.

I’m sure all of us can count the incidents in our life we regret. Things we didn’t say, and decisions we didn’t make.

I don’t know about everybody else, but I’ve had my fair share of things that I for a long time regretted. A long list of things I wanted to do and feelings I wanted to express.

There was a point in my life when my list of regrets was longer than my list of things that made me happy. And each of those regrets were like a wakeup call for me.

I remember somebody telling me, that one day your whole life would flash before your eyes. Make it worth a watch.

I didn’t want my life to be a bundle of regrets, so I decided to just let everything go and do what my heart wanted.

Over time I’ve committed massive blunders, made horrible mistakes and made a complete utter fool of myself in front of strangers.

But I also know that in spite of all this, I made some absolutely fabulous friends, found my passion in life and did what my I wanted to do rather than what everybody else expected me to do.

And today, years after I made that decision, I stand here happy and content. I’ve realized that after all these years, I really don’t give a damn if somebody thought my choices were wrong, or if somebody did not liked the way I dressed or if somebody absolutely hated the way I talked and considered me a blubbering idiot.

Everybody around you will always keep telling you what to do and what not to do. I’ve had my parents and friends and neighbors and random people I just met tell me what I should do in life.

But at the end of everything, and with all due respect to each one of them, I made choices that I felt were correct for me. Even if they were wrong I knew that these were the choices I made and hence I’m the only one responsible for anything that ever happens to me.

All that matters today is that I did what I wanted to and that deep down inside me I know that I’m very happy.

Every single regret that we have in life is because of a simple fact, that we were not able to stand up for our happiness. It takes guts to do what you want to do and when you know everybody else is against it. But somehow I’ve seen that it is easier to go against ever body and do what your heart tells you to do than to regret it years later.

Take risks in life. Either you’ll get what you wanted or you would gain an experience which would be more valuable than anything else in this world.

Fall in love with some body and tell them about your feelings. If they do love you back then spread that happiness everywhere. And if they don’t love you back then fall headlong into a tub of chocolate chip ice cream and emerge back stronger.

Love what you do. And if you can’t love it, then ditch that stupid job and do what you love.

Dress the way you like. If you like what you’re wearing then just don’t give a damn to what others think.

Try new places to eat. Who know what food heaven you might end up finding.

If you really want to buy those funky looking shoes then go running toward those neon pink pumps. They might be super duper expensive but it’s OK to be broke once in a while.

Listen to what your heart says. Do everything you like to do. It’s your life. Do what you want to do with it.

Because someday, when you are 80 and are looking back at your life, you should feel like you’ve utilized every god freaking day and have lived your life to the fullest.

At the end, when the curtain are about to fall,you should have no regrets.

The Crazy Bucket List

10 things you want to do before you die.

Well to be frank there are 395,678,342,659 things I want to do before I die. And most of them involve something extremely crazy. Going to Paris with the love of my life, scuba diving at the great barrier reef in Australia, Stuffing my face with the best of New York’s street food, going to the Oktoberfest in Germany are just some of the normal things I would do.  And I know I would do that. No matter what, these things will be marked as done on my list.

But the not so normal things I want to do are listed below. I want to do more than just these 10, but I figured I’d rather not make it official that I’m crazy but putting them out in public. 😀

Now, all these idea’s are not necessarily a fruit of my overactive imagination. I’v stolen some of them from other people.

 

1. Get into a cab and yell “Follow that car!”- We have seen this scene innumerable times in movies. And I’m hell bent on doing this someday.

 

2. Go to a stranger’s wedding and yell “Don’t marry her. I still love you” and the run away as fast as I can. I would love to stay back and look at the expression of ever person there but I’m pretty sure the wedding party would get me admitted at a mental hospital.

 

3. Walk up to a stranger, hand him a briefcase and whisper “You know what to do.” I would get some friend of mine to sit somewhere close by and record the reaction of that person.

 

4. Text “I hid the body” to a random number.

 

5. Go to Sydney and ask random people to help me locate ’42, Wallaby Way, Sydney‘. This address has been stuck in my head ever since I saw ‘Finding Nemo’.

 

6. Every time somebody asks me to do something, ask them if they need fries with that.- I have no idea why I want to do this but I’m sure a couple of times would be enough to drive everybody around me crazy.

 

7. Buy a parrot and teach him to say “Help! I’v been turned into a parrot!”. Oh! the joy of looking at people’s reactions.

 

8. Step into a crowded elevator and say with a perfectly straight face, “I’m sure you all are wondering why I’v gathered you all here today.” And when people start giving me weird expressions, act as if I’m shocked out of my wits and run out screaming.

 

9. Run to a stranger and look at them in horror. Then tell them with great urgency, “They found out about you. You need to leave the country as soon as possible.”

 

10. When I get a sales call, politely answer the phone and  In the middle of the conversation start asking them repeatedly if they believe in ghosts.

Your Insanity Will Be Your Best Friend

We all have been insane at one point in our lives. I don’t mean to offend anybody, but let’s admit it. We have all done something super crazy in our life that we would never have done had we been thinking normally.

Like maybe we fell in love with the wrong person, or cheated on someone, or ate an entire jar of Nutella in one sitting or wore yellow glittery boots with red pants or worse, paired this combination with a green shirt and blue eye shadow!!

I have not done any of the above mentioned.

No. I just talk to myself, or wear weird clothes, or find it amusing to push doors that clearly say pull or sometimes go to a store and try countless dresses only to end up buying a pair of socks. In my defence, those socks are cute. And sometimes I just say along all the announcements in the metro. Believe me that has earned me endless looks from people standing around me. Some of them even take a step back. 😛

And despite my being insanely crazy, I have some super awesome friends who though not encourage my behaviour, they do join in some times and have fun!

I have through the years realised that even though people around you would give you funny looks when you behave like crazy, somewhere deep down they remember the times they have been crazy, Because I don’t remember anybody who has never done something that the world in general would call insane.

And to be frank, I truly believe that there is nothing wrong in being crazy. It feels good to be out there doing something that nobody usually does. And at times, being crazy is that one trait that would make you different from everybody else.

I mean we find so many girls who dress perfectly with perfect hair, perfect make up and perfect clothes, but when you see some one dressed up quirky, you immediately turn back to look at them and smile. Sometimes even laugh!

And I totally love that. I think that if you can make somebody laugh, then there is nothing you can not do. Because giving someone that one moment in their day when they laugh out loud and forget everything else is the best thing you could EVER give to them.

Your insanity will always be the first thing that people will remember about you. I can with complete  confidence tell you that who ever knows me, would always remember me for all the crazy things I do. And this insanity has become my best friend.

 I would never for anything in the world change myself and give up being crazy. Because being crazy is a huge part of me and if I give up on that, I’m basically giving up on myself. 

I have voices in my head that make sure I’m always laughing at something or the other. And most of the times I end up laughing at myself. And when I say there are voices in my head, please don’t think I’m a nut case. Iv actually got myself tested by a psychologist. 😛

They are just the various thoughts in my mind which have a very strong opinion of their own. And sometimes I end up arguing with them loudly much to the amazement of the people around me who sometimes get worried about me.

So no matter how crazy you or insane you are. Embrace that part of you and paint the world red!! Or yellow or green or blue or purple. Whichever is your favourite colour! And always remember, your insanity will be your best friend. Always. It would never leave your side. 🙂