Quarter Century Crisis

So it is my last day on the good side of 25 and its freaking me out! I am currently suffering what I call the quarter century crisis. Its not a word I know! But this term exists in my world and I am going through its worse phase.

Google says I have Fragapanophobia….Big fancy word for my insane phobia regarding my birthday!! It took me like 10 seconds to just get the pronunciation of it correct!

I know its crazy but I just hate growing up! OK no, lets correct that, I hate growing old. Typical girl thing to stay 16 forever but no. I am in fact an even bigger nut case. I want to be 4 forever!! Where I don’t have to worry about my career, my college, my work, money, making people like me or just getting my eyebrows groomed!!!!

I hate hate hate hate hate the month of December. Not only does an entire calendar year comes to an end but I always feel like an entire year of my life just went by and I have nothing to show of it.

There is no denying that this year was really dramatic for me. If last year somebody had told me that this is what I would have by the end of 365 days I would have laughed my heart out. Believe me. There were fights, angry words, insane amount of eye rolling, lost friendships, awesome trips, silent tears that never came out, screaming, weddings, new jobs, existential crisis and what not!!! In one word, it was drama!

I’m all fidgety here, trying to keep my nerves calm so that I don’t break down. I mean I had always envisioned so much in my life by the time I turned 25. But what I have today is exactly the opposite. In fact I don’t even know what I have.

And the worst part is that there is nothing you can do and be patient and accept the fact that there is another year just gone by.

I know all the 40 year old’s out there would be rolling their eyes at the poor little kid who thinks 25 is the worst age of all but you really gotta live my life to understand how bad it is. Like really bad.

Oh well I’m just in a really crappy mood right now.

Sigh

 

 

Gloomy Rantings

Every year, the month of December finds me in my gloomiest of moods. I’m snappy, I get irritated very fast and it’s basically an entire year of crappiness stuffed into one month.

Why you ask? Well because every year in December, I turn a little older and a lot less wiser.

With every passing year, I realize that there was so much I had to do or achieve but I’ve barely done anything and end up cribbing. Not that I do nothing all year round. It’s just that my expectations arise from a fantasy land far-far away and it’s hard to fulfill them on earth.  :-/

So basically, I dread December. I love the winter season it brings with it, but anything other than that is just crappy. I find some solace in Christmas, but since that’s really not a big deal in India, so it’s basically just stuffing myself with plum cake and reading ‘A Christmas Carol’.

I try and find ways to just slog through this month and I’m at my happiest on New Year. An entire new year to make resolutions and then forget all about them within the first 24 hours is pretty exciting for me.

Every year, I make a long list of stuff I want to do and then end up doing everything exactly opposite to that list. Like last year I had solemnly swore that I will, no matter what, learn to play the guitar. And now, as this year is counting its last breaths, I realize that I didn’t even bother to get the damn thing out of the storage room. Forget about playing it.

So for eleven months I’m at my happiest, optimistic, craziest best! But come December, and all I want to do is go up on my terrace, with a blanket and lie all day in the sun, light a bonfire at night and not come down till January.

The worst part about December is that I get a year older every time it rolls in. And I don’t like getting old! If it was in my hands, I would have stopped at four. But since that’s not an option, I end up being a year older in age even though in my mind I’m still a toddler.

So here’s to another age milestone that I’m about to cross. I have no hopes from this month but let’s not bum out everybody else.

Happy December everybody!

Live long and prosper.

 

P.S- ‘A Christmas Carol’ was first published in London on 19th December 1843. So today is the 171st birthday of this classic novella !

Happy Winter’s And A New Look

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So Christmas is just around the corner and the entire world is gearing up for it. Unfortunately, Northern India is not so excited about Christmas because of a very little Christian population. Christmas fever her begins around 20th of December, is at it’s peak on the 24th and 25th (obviously) and cools down by 27th. So it’s actually just a 3-4 days deal here and people are more psyched about new year’s!  

I have a lot of relatives in USA and London and they are all raving on and on about how everyone is so excited about Christmas and there are tree’s that are decorated and it’s all festive.

Words can not describe how jealous I am because for some reason unknown to me, I love Christmas! And it kills me to see that Delhi is taking it so lightly. It’s a bigger deal in the south of India because of a greater Christian population there but here is all dull. 😦

And to top it all, an aunt of mine called from Virginia last night and said they just had a snowfall there! It’s not even foggy in Delhi till now and it’s snowing there! I want to sob uncontrollably but I control myself because I’m sitting in office and there is absolutely nothing I can do to make it snow here.

The only thing I can control is what I wear. So screw everyone, who does not care about Christmas. I’m going to dress up all festive in pretty red’s and look my winter best. 

Also I changed my blog’s theme and now I have a cute snowman up there which makes me smile. I love Christmas and I’m going to go all out and enjoy the season. 🙂

So a very happy winter’s everyone. Enjoy the festive season!!