Lucky Charms

Do you believe in lucky charms? Do you believe that a piece of jewelry or metal could actually bring you all the good luck that you seek? I for one don’t believe in such things. I don’t think that there really exists something like a trinket or a talisman that could actually work like magic for you.

I’m not here to judge anybody. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And if you believe that a charm or a bracelet could do wonders to you then by all means hold on to that thing with dear life.

But I do believe in people. Somebody once told me that the biggest influence in our life is by the people we surround ourselves with. There are people who would set your mind free with all the positivity in them. And then there are people who would cage all your thoughts and make you look at everything that’s wrong with the world.

Up till now I never really had given this philosophy much thought. But in the past year I’ve observed that there is a certain change in the way I’ve started looking at things. It began in a subtle way and gradually my mind started accepting things which I otherwise would have given up thinking them to be impossible.

I started accepting the fact that no matter what I do some people will never be pleased with me. And trust me this is a hard thing for me to accept because for years I had been trying to become something I wasn’t just to get a simple nod of approval. What seemed like an immense effort came as so easily to me that the simplicity of my decisions stumped me.

I was by no means a rebel but yes I did stand up for what I loved and wanted and gave up on the false hopes of being happy while doing something that I hated. It was like I had been sleep walking all this time and somebody came and lovingly woke me up. The change was so gradual that it took me some time to realize what I had actually done!

It wasn’t until a few weeks back when I finally sat down and thought about what I was really doing because suddenly my life seemed to be going exactly where I wanted it to go!! One year was all it took to shake off 24 years worth of self pity, depression and the insane need to please people.

For most of you it might be an ordinary thing but for me it was the biggest decision of my life. To stand up for what I wanted and not give a damn to the fact that barely anybody supported me. And all this because somebody out there  was standing by my side listening to all the crap that I had to tell and still at the end of every rant tell me that everything will be fine.

4 simple words. Infinite depth in meaning. Everything will be fine.

Sometimes people inadvertently help you just by being there. They don’t do anything or say much, but them just being there with you is probably the biggest asset in your life. They will listen to you, console you, make you laugh and at times unknowing to both of you give you just the correct amount of strength that you needed to get back up and fight the entire god damn world.

I don’t know if it makes me believe in lucky charms…. but it does make me believe in that one person.

 

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Believe

How many times have you questioned your self esteem?

If my guess is correct, there is nobody who has not at least once in their life questioned their worth in their own eyes. No matter how perfect your life is, there would have been that one moment when you doubted yourself.

And I from my experience can tell you that it is much worse when your worth is questioned by somebody else. When no matter what you did, whatever you achieved or how much hard work you put in, your efforts shall be questioned. Every bit of  your work criticized and every decision you ever made considered for the worse.

It is one thing to convince yourself that no matter what, you will get through the rough times. But it is a completely different thing to convince somebody else that you will be able to make your mark.

Not that it is important to show or even justify to somebody what all you have achieved or what you plan to do in your life.

But at times it the approval of the people around you that helps you build up the confidence in yourself. It gives you a sense of achieving something in life and being confident to conquer your dreams. It could be a simple pat on the back or maybe just a smile that could help you zoom through.

Some people would argue that its not what others think of you, but rather what you believe in that counts. So even if there is nobody to support you, you should still listen to your heart and go after your dreams.

But isn’t it a great feeling when the people around you support you and love you for what you are doing. When they cheer for you as you run towards your dreams and are the first one to celebrate when you reach the finish line. It would just give a boost to your confidence and electrify your efforts.

It’s times when there’s nobody around you when you really start questioning yourself. You doubt whether you were right in taking that decision and if it was justified that you dropped everything just to chase after your dreams and if would ever be worth the effort that you are putting in.

What if everything you are doing is utterly idiotic and you are just working according to the schemes you made in your fantasy land.

What if you lost all practical sense and don’t realize that you are actually losing out on opportunities that would have given you a better life.

What if all your plans and hard work were nothing but dust and everything that you are striving to achieve nothing but a sham.

Whats if you are fooling yourself and literally giving your life to something that is impossible to achieve.

What if everybody around you is right and the choices you made in life are going to spell doom for you.

What if the support you were looking for turns it’s back on you.

It is at that very moment that your self worth falls dangerously low in your eyes. You lose confidence and wonder whether it was ever a wise choice to do what you are doing. You question yourself to the point when you have no answers and all that comes back are the echos of every dis-encouragement that had been hurled upon you. Every so-called advice and every prophecy of a dark future comes rushing back and all you want to do is scream till every sound in your mind dies.

You try to be positive about yourself but the negativity surrounds you like the air you breathe. You choke on it and grasp at every thing that could possibly make you breathe better. But there’s nothing around you.

There’s darkness and void everywhere. You stare at the vacuum that has been created around you…..desperately looking for a glimmer of hope that would cut through and bring you back to your happy place.

It takes immense amount of courage to fight through this phase of self critique alone and get back to why you wanted to do this in the first place. The pure unadulterated happiness that you felt in your heart that nudged you to rush after your dreams.  That feeling of finally listening to your heart and shutting out every voice that ever questioned you or your faith in yourself.

I know how hard it is to get that courage because I’ve been there. Not once but innumerable times when I did what I believed was correct for me and my happiness. I’ve had everybody around me vehemently oppose to every decision I made and made me question my choices. When there was nothing I could do but curl up and sleep….wishing that when I woke up, everything would automatically fall in place.

It’s a childish thing to do but at times that was what bought me out of all the negativity that had flooded me.

Yes, it’s hard when you have practically nobody who understands how you are feeling and what you want to do. When you are standing alone, wishing that somebody would come up and say that the choices you made were truly the best thing you could have done for yourself.

But when there’s nobody around you to give you that push, then get up and push yourself. Pump up your self and believe in yourself.

Because that faith that you hold in your dreams and hard work is the only thing that will help you cut through anything that tries to stop you.

So just take a deep breath….and believe.

Things I learned In 2013

2013 passed away in a jiffy for me. Believe me, I was standing on the dance floor on the 31st wondering where the hell did these 365 days go!! It went away so fast that I could just remember the little highlights of the year that went away in the blink of the eye. 2013 was pretty much like aloo chaat for me. 

What is aloo chaat ?

I’m glad you asked.

It’s a North Indian street food of boiled and fried potatoes mixed with chutney and spices. So it’s sweet and spicy and sour at the same time.

And it’s exactly how this year felt to me. So many highs and an equal amount of lows. As I sit down to write this I feel so many emotions and thoughts going through my head.

So here’s what 2013 taught me.

1. You alone are your biggest support system. Not your family, not your friends, and not your better halves.You alone are the person who can understand what you are going through and be your biggest fan and critic. If you are clear about what you want, you are pretty much a winner.

2. It’s OK to fail and be miserable about it as long as it makes you even more determined to get what you want. Everyone fails once in his or her lifetime. And you are no exception. Learn to make your failures your biggest strength.

3. Sometimes you have to go against the entire world to get what you want. There would be times when nobody would stand by you and everything would seem lost. That is the time to be the strongest you’v ever been and stand against the entire world if it comes to that. If you prove yourself, the world will follow you.

4. Never let anyone dishearten you by discouraging you to do something you had set your heart on. Never give up before trying even if it means listening to lecture after lecture by people who have apparently more experience in life than you have.

5. The regret of not doing something would always be bigger than the hurt of failure. Before you give up on something, sit back and think whether you would regret not doing it when you are on your deathbed. Trying and failing is always better than not trying at all. Who know what destiny holds for you.

6. It’s OK to cry sometimes. Shut the door of your room, get under the covers and cry your heart out. It will cleanse your heart.

7. Not all you plans would be successful. Always have a contingency plan when it come to life, because life will always throw googly’s at you when you least expect them. A contingency plan will always help you get up when life will throw truckloads of shit on you. 

8. Being alone is healthy. There are times when you just need to be alone and spend time with yourself. Go to a coffee shop alone and read a nice book. The time you spend with yourself will be the detoxification you need to remain sane in this crazy world.

9. It’s OK if you have nothing planned ahead. Going with the flow is the sometimes the best thing that you can do. I have plans but I’m not forcing myself to follow them. I am happy to go wherever life takes me. 

10. There is no bad day which can not be turned over by good food. Throw away all your dieting rules and enjoy your food. There was a reason god gave us the three senses of sight, smell and taste. 

11. Everybody has bad phases. From ‘I don’t want to talk to anybody’ to ‘I want to run away from everything’ to ‘Vodka is my best friend’. We’v all been there done that. Never let these phases get onto you. It’s OK to have them sometimes but never let them become a part of your life.

12. Fate is what you do to your life. There is nothing that you can not do in life. The Indian Mythology clearly states that your ‘Karm” i.e. your work would always take you wherever you want to go. If you work hard towards achieving something, your fate would turn the tides in your favour. Believe in it. Never let your “stars” come in between you and your dreams.

13. Fall in love. Not necessarily with a person. It could be your job, your home, or even your dreams. If you fall in love with your dreams and passion, life would be 10 times better than what it is now. 

14. Dress smartly and feel good about yourself. If you are confident about yourself, the chances of you doing better in your work would increase dramatically.

15. Always consider yourself blessed. I repeat, ALWAYS. There are millions of people around the world who have not even 1% of what you have today. You may think that you have nothing but believe me, there are people who would exchange their lives with your’s in a heartbeat.

I end this post with a smile on my face. Life will have up’s and down’s but if you play your cards well, nothing can ever beat you.

Be happy and be blessed. I wish you all a smashing new year.

Lots of love,

Urshita

Listening To Your Heart

alain-pelletier-follow-your-dreams

I sometimes really wish my life had a reverse button, so that I can go back in time and maybe do things a little differently. Take a different decision, or be a little more compassionate to some people or follow my heart without listening to what people said.

We all have dreams. From a dream profession to a dream wedding, we’v all been there and done that. We all have had that fire in our belly to just go and get that one thing we always dreamed of. And in many cases, that fire is extinguished by the many ‘well meaning’ friends, relatives and well wishers.

No matter what you do, there would always be people around you who would try and stop you from following your heart for lots of reasons. Some reasons are practical but some are just out rightly stupid and superstitious.

I’v actually had some people tell me not do something because my so called “stars” would not let me be successful in that field. I admit I’v been disheartened many a times by listening to such negative feedbacks and have at times listened to these ‘well meaning’ people and given up what I wanted to do.

 And now when I go into flash back and remember all those things, I regret my decision of not listening to my heart. The regret is not because I did not do something, it is because I did not even try to follow my heart. 

I now wonder If I had tried to do what my heart said, there could have been a good enough chance for me being happy. If only I had the courage to just let these people go to hell and dance my way to my dream. 

The point is, at every stage in your life when you are about to take any major decision, there would be endless people around you who will try and get you to change your mind. Listen to them all but always follow your heart.

I, with all my experience can tell you that the regret of not trying would hurt you way more than the pain of failure. Just follow your heart. There is plenty of time in life to follow what people around you say. They may make your life hell at times if you don’t listen to them (In my case these people are usually my parents :P), but don’t worry. Maybe you would fail and not get what you wanted. Maybe life has something even better for you than this.But at least give it one chance. 

Shut out any person who is trying to stop you. Because at the end of the day it was never between you and them. It was always been you and your dream.

 

dream 1