Happily Ever After

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My grandparents are celebrating their anniversary today. They are celebrating their togetherness which completes six and a half decades today.

65 years…That’s a really long time.

In a commitment phobic world like today, where being together for 65 months is considered a landmark achievement, these two have  held together for a almost a lifetime.

I should be the last person to talk about commitments because I’m probably the biggest commitment phobic you’l ever meet. Not because I don’t believe that I’l find true love someday or that I won’t be able to bond with somebody for life, but just because I have such a negative attitude towards relationships that I run away from any person who tries to connect with me emotionally.

For a chatterbox like me, who can make friends anywhere in the world I have just a handful of people who I really call my friends. People who stood by me when even I had given up on myself.

I don’t what makes me do this, but every time somebody connects with me on an emotional level, I run away from that person at a lightening fast speed. Partially because I fear I’l break my heart. And partially because I fear I’l break that persons heart.

And I have immense respect for the people in my life who are still with me despite my behaving like an utterly unreasonable bitch! I have screamed, cursed, fought and walked out on them and yet they still came back to me when I was done spewing venom. And the worst part is, that even though I know that I do is wrong, I still can’t get myself to get so close to somebody that I end up being habituated to him.

I worry and over analyse every aspect of every feeling I have for that person and if I see even and iota of tenderness inside me, I bolt!

But when I look at my grandparents, and see them so happy together *touchwood*, the feeling is out of this world. Two people who were were married as per the customs of ancient India at the age of 10 and 8, these two have evolved from from being strangers, to friends, to lovers to parents and to grandparents!

And life was not always easy for them. My grandfather left for higher studies and then for work leaving my grandmother with the kids. In those times, when there were hardly any means of communication,these two managed to stay together. And that too after taking into consideration the fact that my grandmother was not allowed to go to school by her in-laws and could not read or write.  So writing love letters was out of question.

They have braved tough times together, and have seen happy times in abundance. They recently welcomed their fifth grandchild into this world and are now preparing for their eldest grandchild to get married.

And it’s not that everything is always lovey-dovey for them. Sometimes they behave like two toddlers locked up in a room with just one toy to play with! They fight like kids and argue about lame things. Then both of them go into separate rooms and emerge an hour later because they were hungry!

These two are the only reason why I, despite being a commitment phobic believe that someday I too would get that happy ending. And I hope and pray that my happily ever after looks like what I see with these two. Not the flowers and gift type materialistic love. But something so deep that you never need words to express it.

 

 

The Best Is Yet To Be

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2014 was one of the best year of my life. I’ve had some super happy moments, some happy tears, some beautiful memories and a professional kick start to my passion. But the best thing about this year was the lessons I learnt. I made major blunders, and those turned into the best lessons of life for me.

So today, on the last day of this beautiful year, I sit back with a cup of chamomile tea, and look back at the super awesome memories I had in 2014.

This year started with a brilliant holiday in Gujarat; I got my first photography assignment; I cleared all my exams with a decent score; had a humongous fight with my best friend; learnt not to make rash decisions; bought a new camera; my cousin got engaged; we had a tiny new buddle of joy added to our family tree; my parents celebrated their 25th anniversary; and I had the most fun experience of doing a pre wedding shoot with a couple who is now like family to me.

Even though I had my fair share of drama and depression this year as well, but overall I’ve realized that when you just let everything go and not try to plan or control every freaking aspect of your life, you tend to be more prepared for any surprise that life might throw at you.

So this year, I’ve decided not to make any resolutions of try and plan the entire year in advance. I’ll take anything that life brings me and make the best of it.

I mean yes, I’ll make plans and everything, but I won’t be heartbroken on something that didn’t happen.

I promise to myself that from now on I won’t stop being crazy just because it makes people think I’m…well crazy!

This year I’ll make peace with the freaky me, because I know that no matter what, the best is yet to be.

Happy new year everybody! 😀

After Party

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It’s been two days since the engagement party and I still can’t completely feel my toes. My killer heels actually killed every sensation in my feet. I didn’t really dance much because there were so many people to meet and so much to do. I just kept running all over the venue to click pictures and meet family. And yet toward the end I ended up holding the heels in one hand and walking around barefoot.

That evening had all the elements of a crazy Indian wedding function.

We had a minor accident the night before the big day (Yours truly touched a naked wire and almost got slapped by my aunt for being so foolish. All the kids were then warned to be safe).

We had a nervous, jittery bride who came almost crying from the salon because she hated her look and the way the sari was draped. Though it was nothing a few cotton balls and safety pins couldn’t correct. Some anxious blabbering a few tears did help her though. 😛

All the guests arrived and the bride’s grandmother was still not there because the car she was in took a wrong turn and ended up taking a detour of nearly 2 miles.

But together it created the drama that is required to make a party successful. I somehow feel that it’s not really an Indian wedding function if till the last moment everybody is not panicky and running here and there to get things done.

And the feeling of watching your sister getting engaged is so surreal. You look at this girl standing there glowing like a light bulb, stepping into a new life with a twinkling solitaire, and wonder how old you’ve grown. It seemed like yesterday that we were playing hide and seek in our living room.

Though for me this feeling passed pretty quickly because I could smell the murg malai tikka’s being served around. Food, I tell you, just distracts me from being serious in life.

But the best part of the evening turned out to be the photo booth me and my cousin had organized. People literally went crazy getting their pictures clicked.

And now that I’m going through these pictures, I realize that photo booths work best when people are drunk. Some expressions are just priceless. Sober people rarely ever laugh like crazy while wearing star shaped glasses and neon wigs!

The above picture is a glimpse of it. I’m the one on the extreme left BTW. I barely have 3 or 4 pictures from the entire evening. And now that I think about it, it is probably because most of the time I was just stuffing my face with food and washing it down with some random cocktail instead of posing prettily and getting some decent picture clicked of me.

Also, I’ve realized that no amount of hairspray can keep my wild hair in place. Just two hours after the party began my hair was all over the place. Though my sister keeps telling me that it was because I kept touching my hair instead of leaving the delicate hairstyle alone.

Run Up To The Party

So tomorrow is the big day. My cousin’s engagement party begins at 8 tomorrow and we are literally so psyched about it. Yes there are still tons of things left to be done, like the bride STILL has not found those perfect shoes. I mean the party is exactly 24 hours from now and she is still searching for the perfect, not so blingy, sky high pair of heels. Poor girl has been running from pillar to post in search of them and to top all that she has so much work at her office. It really is a miracle that she has not burst into hysterical tears till now.

It’s sheer excitement in our house these days. There are guests lists, bags, bangles, shoes, bottles of whiskey just kept randomly at any place. Not that I mind any of it. All this just makes one feel all the excitement that is going into planning this party.

For our parents it’s more of a ritual. The rings shall be exchanged, the gifts shall be given to the boy and the girl, and it would make everything official. So from being boyfriend and girlfriend, they shall be promoted to become each other’s fiancé and fiancée.

But for us it’s gonna be one hell of a party. The entire family is going to be there. We’ll have music, alcohol, a photo booth and some amazingly delicious food!!(To be frank I’m more excited about the food 😛 ) Add a good DJ to it and we’re all set to dance the night away.

So here’s to endless dancing and crazy picture clicking. I hope this party kick starts an amazing life for these two.

Boom Boom Bang!

It’s that time of the year again. The roads are choked with cars, people are stuffing their faces with every possible delicacy ever known in the history of Indian cuisine, houses are spotlessly clean, there are fairy lights everywhere you turn, nearly blinding you and by now you must have forgotten  the number of times you jumped out of your skin because some random kids were bursting crackers somewhere in the vicinity, freaking the bats out of you.

Welcome to the annual Indian madness everyone! It’s Diwali time!

I love the feeling I get when this festival is around the corner. Unlike Holi where the oldies shy away from having a blast, Diwali is that one time of the year when every single person shall be out on the roads to shop, meet their relatives and be a part of the biggest festival in the country.

It’s sheer madness no doubt, but so much fun!  It’s that one time of the year when you get meet your entire extended family. There’s the yummiest possible food, unlimited gifts, new clothes and the one chance to get anything you want from your parents as a Diwali gift! Well, almost anything.

And as I write all this, I’m surrounded with the gifts and sweets we’ve received so far as gifts. Just one look at them and I know all my weight loss resolutions have gone down the drain. Not that I’m complaining. : P I mean no little black dress can give me the happiness like a box of kaju katli can. Or maybe it can?!? Damn it! I should have stopped at the first box! :-/

Oh! Well it’s too late now so I’ll just go and dive headlong into a box of laddoo’s.

Happy Diwali everybody!!! 😀

 

The Perfect Dress

So my sister recently announced her intention to get married and brought her boyfriend home to introduce him to the family. The boy was approved and his family declared as most decent.

Now three months later, after all the excitement and tears of joy, we are all bracing ourselves for the big day.

There are lots of functions that are going to take place before we reach the finish line of The Great Indian Wedding Drama.

The first one of these is the engagement ceremony.

It’s basically just exchanging rings and introducing the bride and the groom to the entire extended khandaan of both the families.

Slowly but surely the things are being crossed out from the ‘Things To Do’ list. The venue is finalized, talks with the caterers are on, designs for the rings are being browsed through and the bride to be is out shopping every weekend to find that perfect dress.

And this is when we come to the most important part of the entire drama. Well the most important part for me.

The dress.

That is what we are all waiting for. Well ‘we’ as in me and all the girls and women in the family. Ladies seldom have much interest in anything else other than clothes. And we are no different.

Everybody is planning and prodding and searching for what they want to wear. It’s the first wedding of the family and the excitement is almost killing us.

Though I’m not so much into clothes and dressing up but I’m equally pumped to find something appropriate to wear. It should be wow enough to make me look like the sister of the bride, but not so wow that it overpowers the brides dress.

And If I know my sister, who hates anything shiny, glittery, heavy, and basically anything that makes you look like an Indian bride, she’s going to pick out something really simple and understated.

And my love for bright pop colors may make me look overdressed in front of her.

Designer boutiques, local shops, Pinterest, Google, my mom’s sari collection, I’ve gone through it all.

I’ve shortlisted a few dresses but I’m still confused. Everything I’ve selected has either glitter or pop colors. And my sister might just pick out something in a pretty pastel color! This thought is driving me nuts!

I usually don’t care about the latest trends, fashion and stuff like this and wear whatever I like. If I’m happy and comfortable with what I’m wearing, I won’t give a damn to what others think.

But to overpower my very own sister on her engagement is not where I want to tread.

So now I’m running to every market in Delhi in sweltering heat to find that perfect dress for me.

And it’s turning out to be one hell of a job.

 

The Existential Crisis

At the prime age of 23, I find myself in the midst of an existential crisis.

I recently realized that my life had been going on the same way for the past few years. Get up in the morning, get dressed, rush to work, come back home in the evening, switch on the TV, eat my dinner and fall asleep at a reasonable hour so that I can begin this entire cycle again the next day.

Except for the Sunday’s which is my day off, I have absolutely nothing new in my life. And even on the Sundays’ I tend to go the same places week after week with the same people.

It’s like I’m stuck somewhere and I’m going round and round in circles.

When did my life become so predictable?

I remember back in high school when I didn’t know what surprise would come my way next hour. The world was my playground and I had the chance to dance my way to happiness.

Though I have nothing to be sad about, I still find myself gloomy at the fact that whatever my plans had been for my future, they kind of got lost in the game of life.

I mean I’m a graduate. I’m working with my dad while studying to be a lawyer. I have a group of friends who love me.  And there is no crisis of sorts in my life.

Wasn’t this supposed to make me happy?

This was what I thought I wanted when I was in high school. A good degree, a good job and my closest friends around me. Then how come today, when I have all this am I not feeling happy?

All my life I’ve made bucket lists. Things I wanted to do at so and so time. Some of those things were checked out but some still are waiting for me to give them the time they deserve.

But I’ve realized that checking off things does not give you happiness. It does make you happy, but I believe happiness is something completely different from just being happy. Happiness should come from within and give you that warm glow from within.

Because forty years down the line, when you would have earned enough money for your retirement and your kids are settled in life and you are living in that house you always wanted to build, you won’t be saying that ‘Yes, I’ve done everything I wrote down in my bucket list and now I’m happy.”

Something would be missing then and that would make you wonder whether in the race to check off everything from the list, did you miss out the small things that used to make you happy?

I know my definition of happiness has changed over the years and it would again go through drastic changes In the future. But as of now, to be blessed enough to have a healthy life with a good future in sight while being surrounded by some very loving people is certainly a pretty damn good thing.