Fear

You know you are kick-starting a company when your days are spent thinking about spreadsheets, contracts, collaborations and how to stay patient.

And you binge eat chocolate chip ice cream or play counter strike to stay calm while you talk to hundreds of people who have basically shredded your ego to bits.

I always knew that running your own company would never be cakewalk. Yes there are companies who were literally billionaires within months but that’s not the case with everyone. It literally takes your blood and sweat to keep it running.

Just keeping your calm is enough to shake the very foundation of whatever stock of patience you thought you had.

Also the constant fear of whether or not you are going down the right path! Even though nobody tells you it would not work and you keep getting positive feedback, and people actually accept your product, there is this insane fear of being rejected. And no matter how much you keep telling others that you need to give time to your business and keep talking to as many people as possible, the ground reality is that you are freaked out and your mind is working all the times.

Even your dreams are around your business and how some random person has come up and become your competition! (I literally have a crystal clear picture of that dream in my mind!)

Yes, it’s fear that makes you work hard and keeps you pumped, but at the same time it’s fear that gives you palpitations that you can sometimes mistake for heart attacks!

It’s crazy and freaky and exciting and worrisome and scary all rolled into one!

And yes, at times I really fear it.

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Death Is But The Next Great Adventure

I come from a family where everybody has its own funda’s about religion and god.

Being bought up in a family which has both Hindu as well as Sikh influences, I was always told that life is all about your Karma, and all you did in this life would ultimately come back to you.

A little mythological, but the basic thing I’ve been hearing all my life is that whatever good or bad deeds you do, they go with your spirit after you die. Heaven or hell would be decided based upon these deeds.

It will all ultimately come down to your death.

Strangely, all these ideas and rules about what you should do in this life are made by people who are still alive and have therefore no idea about what death is.

Though the holy book “The Bhagwad Gita” where the concept of karma is explained is believed to be a compilation of the verses that Lord Vishnu himself said, it takes utmost faith to believe this concept.

According to the Hindu mythology, a spirit will take 84 lakh births before finally getting a human birth. It is arguable scientifically, because there are millions of life forms on earth, but the Hindu mythology says that the spirit starts from something like an amoeba and gradually takes birth in every life form before it become human.

Mythlogically speaking, death is a scary thing. Once you die, all your life deeds are put out in front of you and you are asked to answer each decision of your so that you can go to heaven or hell.

To quote Albus Dumbledore or rather J K Rowling, “To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure”.

Not that I’m claiming to have a well organized mind, but frankly, I’m not scared of death. I’m just scared of not living.

I believe that all these concepts of heaven and hell were just made to create a fear in people. People tend to do or not do something due to fear.

So if you tell them that doing good deeds would get them heaven, they would try and be a better person, even though they have absolutely no idea what hell or heaven is going to be anyways.

And this idea has generally worked. Yes, there are some side effects as well but in every religion you will find the concept of heaven and hell.

Maybe all these concepts were created to establish a civilized society where people have a fear of doing something wrong.

I believe in spirits, but heaven or hell seem fictitious to me. How can you say that a person will have pretty angels surrounding him if he has helped poor and been a kind soul, but if he had been greedy and cruel, he would be thrown in pots filled with boiling lava! Why isn’t he punished in this birth itself? Why wait for him to die?

The concept of Karma though might be true. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So whatever good or bad deeds have been done in this birth shall be compensated and written off in this birth itself.

There is no waiting for death and no worrying about what is right and what is not. Most people would just do whatever the society tells them to do instead of what they want to do just because that way they will get heaven.

And trust me, all these people want heaven, but nobody wants to die!

But if all this is not correct and there actually is a heaven and a hell waiting for everybody, then I guess we’ll all just have to wait for our death so that we may embark upon this unknown exciting adventure.

Who knows where we might end up.

 

🙂

Making Mistakes

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable  but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. ~ George Bernard Shaw

 

I read something on Facebook today that got me thinking. It was “Make mistakes now. Making them later will be too late.”

We all make mistakes in our lives. Some small and some so big that they end up changing the entire track of our life. We always try not to make mistakes and do the best possible to avoid them. But they always creep up behind our back and wham! They are there. smirking smack at our face.

But as quoted above, a life without mistakes is a life with nothing done. Though I don’t believe there is anybody who has not made mistakes.

Then why are we so afraid of making mistakes? We know they would nearly always happen. Then why the fear?

I have made big mistakes in my life. And when I say big I mean B-I-G mistakes. And the biggest reason for this was that I was trying to not make a mistake. And in this process I ended up turning my life upside down. At that point of time I thought that this was the end of my life and I have absolutely nothing to look forward to. I came to a dead end.

But today, when I look back at those times in my life, I smile and realise how strong those mistakes made me. I had never been the ‘serious in life’ type. I still am not. But that dead end gave me the nudge that I desperately needed to get myself back on track and grow up. It made me realise how I am the only person who can help myself.

It made me lose the fear of making mistakes. Now when I want to do something I just do it.  I know I may screw up some things in the process, but what the hell! At least I enjoy life to my hearts content. Because I know that not doing something would  just make me regret it.

I’v stopped looking at them as mistakes. They are lessons that life taught me the hard way. Lessons that I really needed. My mistakes have been stepping stones in my life. I’m glad I made them. Because they are what made me who I am today.

I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed. ~ Michael Jordan