The Inevitability Of It All

It’s the middle of the week and I’m randomly going through wedding pictures by various photographers, (because that’s a part of my job!) while on the phone with my friend coordinating about what all to pack for our bestie’s wedding this weekend. There are clothes, jewelry, shoes, make up and what not to pack!!!

And while we are figuring out all this and making lists, it suddenly hits me again that my best friend is getting married! I say again because for 3 months I was in denial about her wedding.

Don’t get me wrong. I am super happy for this girl and she deserves all the happiness in this world. It’s just that we have come such a long way from freaking out over economics assignments in high school to actually shopping for  her wedding.

It’s so surreal. Searching for that perfect border for the sari, preparing dances, and making elaborate lists of what all to pack. And all this for the girl who I have known for almost a decade. She is legit like my sister.

What makes it hard for me is that she is going to move countries after her wedding. So while we would be in Delhi, she is moving to New York with her husband.

There are preparations going on around the clock and trust me wedding in India are  BIG deal. It’s a once in a lifetime kind of celebration and it’s hangover will remain forever in your mind.

I knew all this was going to happen some day. But it hits you so hard when you see such things actually happening around you. We all would obviously get married and get settled in life but all this really happening is kind of unsettling for me. All of this feels like a dream. I’m still trying to make myself believe that yes all this is really happening. Yes, she is getting married. Yes, she is going to move countries. Yes, all this is was supposed to happen.

It was all inevitable and it’s happening. And was supposed to happen. And it’s all for the best.

So I’m packing up my work and heading to get the best manicure I possibly can get because hello!!!! It’s my best friends wedding!!!!

And I can’t wait for the party to begin!

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Chaos

Have you ever felt like there is a meaningless conflict between your heart and your mind? Like there is complete chaos in your soul and it seems to be sucking you in no matter how much you try to avoid it.

You sit back, take deep breaths, try and calm yourself down but nothing works. There is panic and anxiety. But you don’t know why….

Nothing is wrong with you or your life. And yet you feel like something is missing. Something that you crave from the bottom of your heart but you have no idea what it is.

You try and get yourself busy. You do everything that you can do to keep your mind off the emptiness you feel. Not because you are running away from something, but because you don’t know what you want and there is nothing and nobody that can help you get out of this chaos that is inside you.

And when you finally surrender yourself to this unending wave of emotions, somebody pulls you out of it with such ease that you are knocked out by the simplicity with which it happened. A touch, a smile, a caress was all that you needed to get your self together.

Just being there with somebody and knowing that their mere presence is all that you will ever need can have an infinitely calming effect on you. Like you know that no matter how broken you are, there is somebody who will pick up those pieces and is willing to fix you.

It is at that moment that you finally understand what it feels like to be at peace. With yourself and with the universe.