The Connection

R M Drake

The Search                                                The Search…(Part 2)

The Gaze                                                   The Gaze…(Part 2)

Have We Met Before?                             Have We Met Before? (Part 2)

The Answer                                              The Answer…(Part 2)

He was surprised at how easily he was able to talk to her. He had kept himself locked up inside a shell for as long as he could remember. But today it seemed like that shell had broken and he was finally free.

He had no idea where the night went. There were traces of memory when his friends left, equally surprised at his behaviour. All he knew was he had no need for more alcohol that night. He was far too drunk on her energy. Her stories, her life, the carefree attitude she had and the way she made even the most mundane topic so lively.

He loved how her hands moved in gestures when she talked. There was passion inside her that made her eyes sparkle.

Yes, she was different. There was something very extraordinary about her that he couldn’t explain. And that made him even more curious about her. They talked late into the night. It seemed so easy to talk to this stranger. But after 5 hours of non stop talking it didn’t feel strange anymore.

Something connected and he was hell bent to make sure this connection didn’t break.

Next morning he smiled while looking at his phone.

“We have to hang out again. Lets meet for  lunch.”, she had texted.

For the first time years, he looked forward to something other than work.

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The Answer

The Search                                                The Search…(Part 2)

The Gaze                                                   The Gaze…(Part 2)

Have We Met Before?                             Have We Met Before? (Part 2)

 

For years he had been running away from emotions. From anything that could remotely make him fall in love. Love was not what he wanted. He had far too much darkness inside him. And nobody had ever dared to reach out for that. A darkness that was lost in simplicity, and yet was too complicated to be brought out in the open.

He had controlled every thought and every emotion in him.

But all this week, for the first time in years, he felt like he was losing control. And looking at her, standing in front of him, he understood why….

There was mischief in those eyes. And a flash of recognition. She didn’t look like all the other girls in this club who yearned attention. No. She was far too different from them. She had that look about her that was hard to explain. She appeared to be nonchalant but her drumming fingernails showed her restlessness.

“I’m sorry, but have we met before?”, she asked.

He had been mesmerized with her eyes and with this question he saw the fire in them. Fire, that pulled him like a moth towards it. Fiery and blazing.

“No”, He replied smiling. “But it seems like you recognize me.”

 

Have We Met before?

The Search

The Search…(Part 2)

The Gaze

The Gaze…(Part 2)

He wasn’t particularly fond of clubbing, but once in a while he went out with his old friends.They would meet and catch up over a couple of drinks.

His three best friends were the only people who understood him. They had come a long way together. From college where they chipped in money for tea, to this day when they were sitting in the classiest club of the city.

He really needed this break today. All week his mind had been playing tricks with him. He really needed to get those eye’s out of this mind. It was almost like he was losing control over his feelings. He couldn’t lose control. No. Not again. He had to divert himself from thinking about her.

He didn’t even know who she was. He had seen her just for a couple of minutes. And yet she had been in his thoughts all week. He was determined to let go of this infatuation.

But fate had other plans for him.

They had been sitting at the bar when he heard somebody come up next to him and place an order for drinks. A smooth voice. Deep, with a certain authority in it.  He wouldn’t have turned around if he hadn’t heard that drumming of nails. There was impatience in that drumming. He seemed to recognize this impatience.

He turned around and saw what he had been trying to run away from…

She was standing right next to him. Dark ebony hair framed her face that glowed from within. In this crowd she stood out. She was not like the many girls in this club. There was something mysteriously enchanting about her. She was like the ocean. Pretty enough on the surface, but you had to dive down to it’s depth’s to see what treasures it held.

He would have kept silently staring at her if she hadn’t turned her head his way.

Her eye’s met his and for a moment he saw a spark of recognition in them. Eye’s that he could stare into for infinity. He could see a smile playing on her lips, and before he could say anything, he heard her ask, “I’m sorry, but have we met before?”

 

The Gaze….

The Search

The Search…..(Part 2)

 

He liked to be in control of everything. His work, the people who worked for him, his life and his emotions…

Especially his emotions.

He had let his emotions get out of control once. Long time back when he had no idea how much it hurts when somebody close to your heart, leaves you in such sorrow that even breathing becomes difficult.

There was a reason why he was so wary of love. Love made you lose control. Your mind wandered off on ideas that gave rise to emotions you could never understand. He wanted to know what he was feeling. He hated surprises in that department.

For years he had kept every emotion and feeling under control. He stayed away from anybody who tried to connect with him  on an emotional level. And it had worked.

But today, for the first time in years he felt like his mind was not listening to him.

He had been sitting in a coffee shop when he saw her. She seemed to be in a hurry. She had quickly placed her order while impatiently drumming her nails on the counter.

Her hair that were left open, fell in soft waves on her shoulders, almost covering her face. He would have looked away if at that very moment she had not turned her head his way.

Deep mahogany eyes lined with kohl met his gaze. Eye’s so deep that he found it impossible to look away from them.

Their eyes had met for a couple of seconds….and now hours after that chance encounter, he still couldn’t get them out of his mind.

Sleep eluded him as he tried to fathom how magnetically beautiful a pair of eyes could be….

 

It’s All In The Eye’s

There was something insanely attractive about those eye’s. Deep brown and magically hypnotic. They could suck out your soul by just gazing at you.

They say that eye’s are the window to your soul. But in those eye’s you could see every possible emotion that you have ever felt held together with such depth that it was like staring into the universe. Mysterious and infinite. They mirrored every feeling you had and you could see every inner conflict that raged between your heart and your mind.

Eye’s which you could stare into for infinity and beyond and still not feel satiated. And if they looked away, something inside you snapped. Like looking into them was the only thing that gave meaning to your presence in this universe. And if it wasn’t for those eye’s, nothing would seem right.

Eye’s that pull you towards them, and with a blink could shatter you into a million pieces.

And it is then that you realize how fragile your existence had been before their gaze had fallen upon you. And with that gaze, the universe now feels complete.

Unsent

She read those lines again. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she lightly kissed the piece of paper that was more precious to her than her own life.

I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me. I try but words have failed me.”

She remembered how they used to talk for hours. Unlike other people, they never needed something to talk about. The conversation always flowed. And yet there was nothing that could describe the love they had for each other.

I remember the first time we met. I can still hear the bangles jingling on your arms.”

They met at a friend’s engagement where they bumped into each other and she spilled her drink on his shirt.  Who knew that one disastrous meeting would lead these two to something so beautiful.

I have no idea how you feel. But all I can say is that I have fallen madly and hopelessly in love with you. I tried to push this idea away thinking that it was nothing but infatuation. But over time I have seen that nothing makes me happy until unless I have you to share it with. You are the reason for my happiness.

There was something that just clicked with these two. Completely opposite of each other in tastes and personalities, they were the perfect example of opposites attract.

I know that writing all this to you may seem a little melodramatic. But every time you are in front of me, I lose all my courage.”

He was supposed to meet her at their favorite coffee place. She waited 3 hours for him, but he never came. She got in her car, furious at him for not showing up when she got that cursed call.

He had met with an accident. A drunk driver had hit his car and he was rushed to the hospital in acrtical state he had sustained multiple injuries to his head.

I don’t know how and when it happened but every time I think of you, I picture our lives together.

After 16 hours of surgery, he lost his battle with life. It was like her soul had been sucked out of her. Like the world was closing in on her and she couldn’t breathe.

She had found this letter in his bag on the day of his funeral. He had never posted it

I love you so much. And I’ll love you till my last breath.”

She broke down every time she read these line. Fate never gave her the chance to love him back.

A Balm For The Aching Heart

You can read the first two parts of this series here-

1. Love at First Site

2. The fine line between love and infatuation

 

I wake up to the sound of rain drops falling hard on my window. For me it’s the best possible sound to wake up to. I get up and look outside. It looks beautiful. It seems like it’s been raining for some time. I can see water logged on the road outside my home.

I quickly brush my teeth, pick up a towel and rush to my terrace. It’s going to be a shower in the rain today.

I step out in the rain and relish the feeling of the rain drops falling on my skin. The rain seems to cleanse my soul.

I had gone back to Rashi’s house when she told me that the video made at the wedding had arrived. There was some problem at the photographer’s end which lead to the delay in us getting the film. I had waited so long for it.

And my patience was rewarded.

He was there in this beautiful wedding film. Talking happily about his friend and wishing him all the best for his future.

His voice made me smile. I loved the way he was laughing and teasing Rashi’s brother. His laughter was way more endearing to me than his smile. I had taken a copy of the film back to my place saying that I had to show it to my family.

I listened to that 47 second clip of him talking innumerable times. I knew everything he said by heart.

Even now, standing here, drenched, I can feel his voice around me. The rains always have a weird effect on me. Every time it rains my brain turns into a Bollywood songs playlist and every single song picturized in the rains starts playing in my head.

And since the love bug has apparently bitten me I can almost see Vivek standing next to me and humming a romantic number.

It’s so frustrating sometimes. All I can think of is him. My heart aches to talk to him. I want to know more about him. Know his likes and dislikes. Watch him smile and laugh with him.

I know this is possibly the stupidest thing I’v ever done or thought, because being in love with someone you’ve never met is insane.

I look up towards the sky and close my eyes. I can feel the rain drops on my face.

Rains have always been my dear friend. And this time too they sooth my aching heart.