Happily Ever After

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My grandparents are celebrating their anniversary today. They are celebrating their togetherness which completes six and a half decades today.

65 years…That’s a really long time.

In a commitment phobic world like today, where being together for 65 months is considered a landmark achievement, these two have  held together for a almost a lifetime.

I should be the last person to talk about commitments because I’m probably the biggest commitment phobic you’l ever meet. Not because I don’t believe that I’l find true love someday or that I won’t be able to bond with somebody for life, but just because I have such a negative attitude towards relationships that I run away from any person who tries to connect with me emotionally.

For a chatterbox like me, who can make friends anywhere in the world I have just a handful of people who I really call my friends. People who stood by me when even I had given up on myself.

I don’t what makes me do this, but every time somebody connects with me on an emotional level, I run away from that person at a lightening fast speed. Partially because I fear I’l break my heart. And partially because I fear I’l break that persons heart.

And I have immense respect for the people in my life who are still with me despite my behaving like an utterly unreasonable bitch! I have screamed, cursed, fought and walked out on them and yet they still came back to me when I was done spewing venom. And the worst part is, that even though I know that I do is wrong, I still can’t get myself to get so close to somebody that I end up being habituated to him.

I worry and over analyse every aspect of every feeling I have for that person and if I see even and iota of tenderness inside me, I bolt!

But when I look at my grandparents, and see them so happy together *touchwood*, the feeling is out of this world. Two people who were were married as per the customs of ancient India at the age of 10 and 8, these two have evolved from from being strangers, to friends, to lovers to parents and to grandparents!

And life was not always easy for them. My grandfather left for higher studies and then for work leaving my grandmother with the kids. In those times, when there were hardly any means of communication,these two managed to stay together. And that too after taking into consideration the fact that my grandmother was not allowed to go to school by her in-laws and could not read or write.  So writing love letters was out of question.

They have braved tough times together, and have seen happy times in abundance. They recently welcomed their fifth grandchild into this world and are now preparing for their eldest grandchild to get married.

And it’s not that everything is always lovey-dovey for them. Sometimes they behave like two toddlers locked up in a room with just one toy to play with! They fight like kids and argue about lame things. Then both of them go into separate rooms and emerge an hour later because they were hungry!

These two are the only reason why I, despite being a commitment phobic believe that someday I too would get that happy ending. And I hope and pray that my happily ever after looks like what I see with these two. Not the flowers and gift type materialistic love. But something so deep that you never need words to express it.

 

 

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The Best Is Yet To Be

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2014 was one of the best year of my life. I’ve had some super happy moments, some happy tears, some beautiful memories and a professional kick start to my passion. But the best thing about this year was the lessons I learnt. I made major blunders, and those turned into the best lessons of life for me.

So today, on the last day of this beautiful year, I sit back with a cup of chamomile tea, and look back at the super awesome memories I had in 2014.

This year started with a brilliant holiday in Gujarat; I got my first photography assignment; I cleared all my exams with a decent score; had a humongous fight with my best friend; learnt not to make rash decisions; bought a new camera; my cousin got engaged; we had a tiny new buddle of joy added to our family tree; my parents celebrated their 25th anniversary; and I had the most fun experience of doing a pre wedding shoot with a couple who is now like family to me.

Even though I had my fair share of drama and depression this year as well, but overall I’ve realized that when you just let everything go and not try to plan or control every freaking aspect of your life, you tend to be more prepared for any surprise that life might throw at you.

So this year, I’ve decided not to make any resolutions of try and plan the entire year in advance. I’ll take anything that life brings me and make the best of it.

I mean yes, I’ll make plans and everything, but I won’t be heartbroken on something that didn’t happen.

I promise to myself that from now on I won’t stop being crazy just because it makes people think I’m…well crazy!

This year I’ll make peace with the freaky me, because I know that no matter what, the best is yet to be.

Happy new year everybody! 😀

Making Mistakes

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable  but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. ~ George Bernard Shaw

 

I read something on Facebook today that got me thinking. It was “Make mistakes now. Making them later will be too late.”

We all make mistakes in our lives. Some small and some so big that they end up changing the entire track of our life. We always try not to make mistakes and do the best possible to avoid them. But they always creep up behind our back and wham! They are there. smirking smack at our face.

But as quoted above, a life without mistakes is a life with nothing done. Though I don’t believe there is anybody who has not made mistakes.

Then why are we so afraid of making mistakes? We know they would nearly always happen. Then why the fear?

I have made big mistakes in my life. And when I say big I mean B-I-G mistakes. And the biggest reason for this was that I was trying to not make a mistake. And in this process I ended up turning my life upside down. At that point of time I thought that this was the end of my life and I have absolutely nothing to look forward to. I came to a dead end.

But today, when I look back at those times in my life, I smile and realise how strong those mistakes made me. I had never been the ‘serious in life’ type. I still am not. But that dead end gave me the nudge that I desperately needed to get myself back on track and grow up. It made me realise how I am the only person who can help myself.

It made me lose the fear of making mistakes. Now when I want to do something I just do it.  I know I may screw up some things in the process, but what the hell! At least I enjoy life to my hearts content. Because I know that not doing something would  just make me regret it.

I’v stopped looking at them as mistakes. They are lessons that life taught me the hard way. Lessons that I really needed. My mistakes have been stepping stones in my life. I’m glad I made them. Because they are what made me who I am today.

I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed. ~ Michael Jordan