Arrange marriages always befuddled me. The thought of spending your life with someone you don’t know seems weird. And though I belong to a country where arrange marriages are still a pretty common thing, I tend to be a little apprehensive about the whole concept. Not that they are bad in any way. It’s just that when you meet someone, they will obviously show you their good side. Who knows what creepiness hides behind that smile.
My parents just completed 25 years of their marriage and all my life I’ve been fascinated at how these two, despite being poles apart in personalities and temperaments, have managed to stay together and sane. These two are probably the perfect example of opposites attract.
They were set up by their parents through a newspaper matrimonial column. They met a couple of times and god alone knows what they talked about cause these two agreed to the match pretty quickly.
Though in those times people rarely allowed the girl and boy to meet often before the wedding, my grandparents were pretty open in their thinking and these two often met at ‘The Host’ in Connaught Place for tea. Those were days when there were no Starbucks or Café Coffee Day’s. So meeting over Chai and Pakora’s was their date.
There was no phone at my dad’s place so he used to call my mom from work. They couldn’t have talked much because my mom tells me that in those days, call rates were quite high. In this age and day we have Skype and Whats app and endless other ways to communicate with someone. But 20-30 years back, when there was barely a landline phone in every home, getting to know the other person was a humongous task.
After 6 months of courtship, they got married with much pomp and show.
Over these 25 years, I’ve seen my parents going from a simple middle class lifestyle to luxury cars and Rado watches. Not that I was there for all these 25 years. But this is what I remember. They’ve worked together and built a solid foundation for me and my sister.
I still don’t understand how these two have over the years maintained their sanity. I’ve never seen them fight. I mean yeah, they argue about stuff, but I’ve never seen them scream at each other or bang doors. And that is because strangely, every time one of them is in a bad mood, the other one makes himself scarce. Like they avoid each other till they cool down and then have lengthy discussions.
And when I say lengthy, it means I could have a round trip to the moon by the time they finish. These two just looooove discussing things elaborately.
I know I’m too going to have an arranged marriage, because believe me no normal person in his right senses would date me. If in these 24 years of my life I couldn’t find a guy, despite there being more guys than girls on this planet, I can very safely say that my parents would have to make a huge effort to find that one guy who can handle the craziness that is their daughter. 😛
And though this arranged marriage thing scares the shit outta me, I find solace in the fact that if these two could be together and make things work and celebrate a silver jubilee, then maybe it won’t be that hard to make place for a person in your heart even if you don’t know much about him.
Life will be like a mystery then. Unfolding new things about each other every day and making it work together towards that much dreamed about happily ever after. Despite all the thunder and clouds, maybe I too can find my silver lining.