Please Listen To Me. I Want To Ramble. Part 2



There are days when I just want to talk. Non stop. To anybody and everybody who would just listen to me. Not that I don’t have friends of family around me who would not listen to me. I mean they are trying their best to cope up with all the nonsense that is conceived by my brain, but still sometimes everybody is so busy that I find it hard to disturb them and ramble about the imaginary world where I live.

On days like these I end up being even more attracted to food. I say even more because food is probably the only pure love of my life. There’s unadulterated passion that I have for food. Not cooking it, just eating it. So when I don’t talk, I eat. And when I eat, it gets impossible to stop me because…..well because it’s food and I love food.

And to top it all, mango season is here! So i’m hogging down mango after mango. And all this while I’m listening to all the voices in my head debate about whether or not I should eat something else as well.

Also it is getting so damn hot in Delhi that it’s getting absolutely impossible to go out. The sun is blazing down with such fury that it almost seems like it’s trying to kill you.

How I hate Delhi summers.

And lately I’v realized that I hate people who keep dragging conversations. I mean if you have nothing to say then just put the damn phone down and let me live in peace. Forcing somebody to have a conversation with you is like third degree torture! And I am usually very good at avoiding such people but these days I’m just too lazy to do anything about them.

If I like talking to somebody I’l keep saying random nonsensical things to that person and just talk aimlessly for hours. And everybody who talks to me knows that. If I’m giving straight cut yes or no as answers to your questions and if I have absolutely nothing to talk to you then the chances are that I’m trying too hard to be polite and say it on your face to get the hell outta my sight.

Even when I have nothing to talk, I can still keep the conversation going if I genuinely want to talk to that person. And then I don’t care how late at night it is or the fact that whatever I’m saying is just illogical chattering.

I guess the alcohol level in my blood has gone wayyyy below normal. I really really really need to refuel. Like maybe just get drunk and call somebody and say I love you!

Oh well!!

Thank you for listening….

I just needed to go blah blah blah for some time.

PS- These days I’m insanely attracted to romantics songs. And not just listening to them, but singing at the top if my voice. I personally have no problem with that but if this continues the people around me might soon need an appointment with their doctors to check for ear drum damage.

Writer’s Block

Lately I’ve been going through the worst writer’s block. I have so much to say and write but there are just not enough words to bring all that out. I have tons of things I want to write about, but when I do sit down to write, my thoughts just fail to come down on paper.

Like I wanted to write about this trip I took a couple of weeks back. I was excited, anxious, nervous, happy, paranoid, control freak and what not. And yet when I sit down to write about it, all I can do is just go back down the memory lane and waste all my time laughing over the fun we had.

There are stories I wanted tell, the pictures I wanted to show, the experiences I wanted to share. But nothing comes out.

I wanted to write about how my city has been experiencing these really unexpected rains, bringing back the cold winds that had almost vanished for two days.

And how excited I am about Holi!! My most favorite festival is a few hours away and the adrenalin rush I’m feeling can’t be explained right now.

Which is very confusing because I’ve never had trouble expressing myself. I am usually very comfortable speaking out everything I have on my mind.

And it’s not like I don’t have a subject to talk about. I just don’t have words to express my thoughts.

I guess it’s because sometimes, it’s not important that I write everything out. Sometimes it’s more about feeling everything and just letting go.

Maybe these experiences were far too special and nothing I ever say can do justice to those memories

Please Listen To Me. I Want To Ramble.

I can’t believe the first month of this year is already gone! I mean yeah there were days when I felt like time had stopped and nothing can make the earth rotate faster. But now as I turn the page of the calendar to a new month I realize how time actually flew away.

I had been waiting for February for so long! There is so much I have to do this month. And now that this month is actually here, I fear like I won’t be able to live up to all the excitement and expectations I have kind of thrown at this poor little month.

I think expecting too much from anything, including something completely imaginary like my fantasies is going to be like too much pressure. It’s like I have to make sure I have fun.

Like last weekend! I had such plans for those three days! Everything was ready and decided. But what actually happened was that I sprained my back and basically spent all five days on my couch, too much in pain to even curl up comfortably.

Imagine lying on a couch for that long and not even being comfortable! It’s like going to Disneyland and not going on any ride!!!

It was torture.

And why did that happen? Because I expected far too much fun from a weekend. And also because I kinda jumped out of bed in a way that paralyzed my back!

Imagine that! I was supposed to get up for college but a 5 min snooze turned out to be a 45 minute nap. And when I finally woke up and saw the time, I had a mini heart attack. And then whatever ‘jumping out of bed’ happened, resulted in me being practically paralyzed with such excruciating pain that even going to the loo was a torture.

Also, I broke the chain of one of my most favorite necklace! And I need to wera it again soon! So I have to do something about that damn thing!

Aaaaaaand I can’t find a decent pair of sneakers anywhere. Everything is either too girly or too manly. I need something in the middle. Though this logic has made my mother certify me as crazy once again, I still need something that would neither make me look like a  very manly girl nor like Tinkerbell out for a run!

And now as I write that down I realize where I’ve been going wrong all these days.

What is wrong with the universe!

I know all this makes absolutely no sense to anybody, but I just wanted to ramble aimlessly for some time.

I love you all so much.


PS- I’m been freakishly moody these days. Not the PMS moody. Almost like I was drunk. And not the ‘throw up and the pass out’ drunk. Like hugging every random person and saying “I love you so much. You are my true friend” kind of drunk!