That Moment….

There are times when all you want to do is howl and scream your heart out….and cry yourself to sleep. But all you can do is smile and pretend that everything is fine. When every fiber your being wants to run away and never come back. When breathing becomes a task. When nobody seems to understand what you are trying to say….not because they can’t understand, but because you are unable to tell them how much it hurts inside.

When being alone is the best part of your day, but nobody will ever leave you alone to enjoy that solitude. When eyes run dry of tears and nothing seems to fill the gap inside you. When advise’s flow in from everywhere and you are unable to tell people that it’s not advise that you want. And what you want is something they will never understand. Because you yourself are unable to get rid of the storm inside you.

You know something is wrong and thinking straight takes effort. When hurting yourself seems tempting but you know that it will never prove a point. When everything seems to fall apart and you are made to watch your life shredded into pieces. When you end up hurting the people closest to you. When nothing you say seems to make sense to anybody. And eventually your words lose all sense to you as well….

At that exact moment you need to be your strongest. When nothing seems right and nobody understands you. It is possible that you and only you can make sense of whats going on. Hold on to that. Because at that exact moment, you will finally come face to face with the real you.

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The Search….(Part 2)

The Search

Sometimes all she wanted was to run away. Run away from everything that tried to hold her down or cut her wings. Run away from people who pretended to be something else. Run away from everything that was precious to her.

Sometimes, she wanted to run away from herself.

She was far more complicated than anybody could ever imagine. She always had that look about her that made people take notice of her. A mystery that was insanely attractive.

She had broken many hearts. Hurt people who had tried to bring her out of the misery that she had imposed on herself.

But all those people had tried to protect her. They had tried to change the way she thought, the way she saw the world and the way she felt. She was suffocated by the constant do’s and don’ts imposed on her.

It was not protection that she wanted.

All her life she had been looking for love. And if that love was not extraordinary, she was not interested.  She longed for love that was intense, unadulterated and raw.

Love, that gave her freedom to be herself. Love, that didn’t try to change her and just let her be herself.

She wanted somebody who would see the fire in her eyes. Somebody who would understand that love was the only thing she could give. Completely and wholeheartedly. She wanted love that was so deep that it burned your soul with its passion.

Her search was for a love that would peel her down to the bone and see that there was far more to her than what met the eye….