The Best Is Yet To Be

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2014 was one of the best year of my life. I’ve had some super happy moments, some happy tears, some beautiful memories and a professional kick start to my passion. But the best thing about this year was the lessons I learnt. I made major blunders, and those turned into the best lessons of life for me.

So today, on the last day of this beautiful year, I sit back with a cup of chamomile tea, and look back at the super awesome memories I had in 2014.

This year started with a brilliant holiday in Gujarat; I got my first photography assignment; I cleared all my exams with a decent score; had a humongous fight with my best friend; learnt not to make rash decisions; bought a new camera; my cousin got engaged; we had a tiny new buddle of joy added to our family tree; my parents celebrated their 25th anniversary; and I had the most fun experience of doing a pre wedding shoot with a couple who is now like family to me.

Even though I had my fair share of drama and depression this year as well, but overall I’ve realized that when you just let everything go and not try to plan or control every freaking aspect of your life, you tend to be more prepared for any surprise that life might throw at you.

So this year, I’ve decided not to make any resolutions of try and plan the entire year in advance. I’ll take anything that life brings me and make the best of it.

I mean yes, I’ll make plans and everything, but I won’t be heartbroken on something that didn’t happen.

I promise to myself that from now on I won’t stop being crazy just because it makes people think I’m…well crazy!

This year I’ll make peace with the freaky me, because I know that no matter what, the best is yet to be.

Happy new year everybody! 😀

Gloomy Rantings

Every year, the month of December finds me in my gloomiest of moods. I’m snappy, I get irritated very fast and it’s basically an entire year of crappiness stuffed into one month.

Why you ask? Well because every year in December, I turn a little older and a lot less wiser.

With every passing year, I realize that there was so much I had to do or achieve but I’ve barely done anything and end up cribbing. Not that I do nothing all year round. It’s just that my expectations arise from a fantasy land far-far away and it’s hard to fulfill them on earth.  :-/

So basically, I dread December. I love the winter season it brings with it, but anything other than that is just crappy. I find some solace in Christmas, but since that’s really not a big deal in India, so it’s basically just stuffing myself with plum cake and reading ‘A Christmas Carol’.

I try and find ways to just slog through this month and I’m at my happiest on New Year. An entire new year to make resolutions and then forget all about them within the first 24 hours is pretty exciting for me.

Every year, I make a long list of stuff I want to do and then end up doing everything exactly opposite to that list. Like last year I had solemnly swore that I will, no matter what, learn to play the guitar. And now, as this year is counting its last breaths, I realize that I didn’t even bother to get the damn thing out of the storage room. Forget about playing it.

So for eleven months I’m at my happiest, optimistic, craziest best! But come December, and all I want to do is go up on my terrace, with a blanket and lie all day in the sun, light a bonfire at night and not come down till January.

The worst part about December is that I get a year older every time it rolls in. And I don’t like getting old! If it was in my hands, I would have stopped at four. But since that’s not an option, I end up being a year older in age even though in my mind I’m still a toddler.

So here’s to another age milestone that I’m about to cross. I have no hopes from this month but let’s not bum out everybody else.

Happy December everybody!

Live long and prosper.

 

P.S- ‘A Christmas Carol’ was first published in London on 19th December 1843. So today is the 171st birthday of this classic novella !

No Regrets

Long time back, when I was in school, I was addicted to those Agatha Christie novels. I used to read them like crazy and I believe I must have read all of them.

One of my favorite of her books is “After the Funeral”; A mystery of revolving around the murder of Mr. Richard Abernethie and his sister Cora.

I don’t really remember all the character now but I remember at one point this guy asks his sister, “Don’t you have any regrets?”, and she calmly replies, “It’s a waste of time, having regrets”.

This dialogue has been stuck in my head ever since. I read numerous other novels after this one but no other dialogue ever appealed me as this one did.

Regret. Those sad disappointing feelings that sometimes feel like they are piercing your heart.

So many times in life we fail to do something which ultimately makes us regret that moment for years to come.

Logic, society, common sense, manners, fear and god knows what all has stopped us from doing what we always wanted to do.

I’m sure all of us can count the incidents in our life we regret. Things we didn’t say, and decisions we didn’t make.

I don’t know about everybody else, but I’ve had my fair share of things that I for a long time regretted. A long list of things I wanted to do and feelings I wanted to express.

There was a point in my life when my list of regrets was longer than my list of things that made me happy. And each of those regrets were like a wakeup call for me.

I remember somebody telling me, that one day your whole life would flash before your eyes. Make it worth a watch.

I didn’t want my life to be a bundle of regrets, so I decided to just let everything go and do what my heart wanted.

Over time I’ve committed massive blunders, made horrible mistakes and made a complete utter fool of myself in front of strangers.

But I also know that in spite of all this, I made some absolutely fabulous friends, found my passion in life and did what my I wanted to do rather than what everybody else expected me to do.

And today, years after I made that decision, I stand here happy and content. I’ve realized that after all these years, I really don’t give a damn if somebody thought my choices were wrong, or if somebody did not liked the way I dressed or if somebody absolutely hated the way I talked and considered me a blubbering idiot.

Everybody around you will always keep telling you what to do and what not to do. I’ve had my parents and friends and neighbors and random people I just met tell me what I should do in life.

But at the end of everything, and with all due respect to each one of them, I made choices that I felt were correct for me. Even if they were wrong I knew that these were the choices I made and hence I’m the only one responsible for anything that ever happens to me.

All that matters today is that I did what I wanted to and that deep down inside me I know that I’m very happy.

Every single regret that we have in life is because of a simple fact, that we were not able to stand up for our happiness. It takes guts to do what you want to do and when you know everybody else is against it. But somehow I’ve seen that it is easier to go against ever body and do what your heart tells you to do than to regret it years later.

Take risks in life. Either you’ll get what you wanted or you would gain an experience which would be more valuable than anything else in this world.

Fall in love with some body and tell them about your feelings. If they do love you back then spread that happiness everywhere. And if they don’t love you back then fall headlong into a tub of chocolate chip ice cream and emerge back stronger.

Love what you do. And if you can’t love it, then ditch that stupid job and do what you love.

Dress the way you like. If you like what you’re wearing then just don’t give a damn to what others think.

Try new places to eat. Who know what food heaven you might end up finding.

If you really want to buy those funky looking shoes then go running toward those neon pink pumps. They might be super duper expensive but it’s OK to be broke once in a while.

Listen to what your heart says. Do everything you like to do. It’s your life. Do what you want to do with it.

Because someday, when you are 80 and are looking back at your life, you should feel like you’ve utilized every god freaking day and have lived your life to the fullest.

At the end, when the curtain are about to fall,you should have no regrets.

Sorrow’s and Joy’s

Life has way of balancing everything. Like if you get too much sorrow, you are bound to get an equivalent amount to joy some day that would write off all the sadness you felt.

Just when you start thinking that everything is falling apart and nothing could get to through, life gives you a much needed little nudge that helps you get through the most terrible times of your life.

Recently I lost a very dear aunt. The whole family was shocked at the untimely loss and for nearly a week we could barely think of anything else.

My aunt was the live wire in our family. A happy go lucky person who was bound to make everybody around her smile because she had the most infectious laugh ever! A regular chatterbox, she was always full of energy.

I remember my mom telling me that when she met my dad’s family for the first time after her marriage, my aunt was in 9th grade. She says that the first thing she noticed was how this girl ran up and down the stairs all day to get things done for the reception that was to be held that night. And how she came up to my mom every 15 minutes and made sure she wasn’t bored or feeling out of place in a new family.

Years later my aunt had revealed that when she saw my mom, she realized how lonely the bride must be feeling in a new family. So she made it a point to make my mom feel welcomed.

I’m often compared to my aunt for being the most talkative person in my family. And frankly, I feel proud to be compared to the one person who was the funniest, most caring, and the strongest member of our family.

At the age of 21 she had against the consent of the family, eloped with the love of her life  , who today is my uncle and the father of her two beautiful children, . Together these two had built the foundation of a strong marriage and a healthy family.

I hope wherever she is, her soul finds peace. She is watching us from the heavens above and I know that she can see the piercing pain everybody is feeling.

My family had been trying to cope up with this huge loss, when life turned around and bought happy news to our homes.

A couple of weeks after this tragedy, my cousin announced her engagement. Being the eldest child of our generation, her’s is the first wedding in the family after a long time. This news acted like a balm to our hearts. It gave us something to rejoice and look forward to.

Today, as I write this post, I can’t stop smiling at the happy prospect of my sister’s wedding, even though I sorely miss my aunt.

Life came full circle for us. We said goodbye to a beloved daughter of the family, and are now, thanks to my sister, preparing to welcome a son.

Let’s Stop Over Thinking

We all think about stuff. Everyday tasks, our future, our crush, our miserable love life(OK, that’s probably just me). But I know and have seen people who can think on and on over the same thing and just not stop. And most of the time’s the problem they are pondering over isn’t even worth the effort.

Believe me I know people who can think about a stupid thing for ages and not come up with a solution, only to re think all that again and end grumbling about being stressed out. And when I look at such people I’m like “Whaaaaat!!”

I’m one of those people who would just not a give a damn to most of the things in this world. I would rather just chill and let things be. Yes, I sometimes get nervous and tensed about stuff, but that happens when the problem involved in actually pretty serious, like my career or my exams and stuff like that.

But people who over think about stuff like their clothes, or some co-worker or and random thing are beyond my understanding. Take my sister for instance. When we go out somewhere, she would get dressed and ask all of us like a million times(I’m not exaggerating this, she actually asks us a million times) as to whether her shoe’s match her dress, of is she looking too thin in the outfit(She is way too skinny and sometimes some clothes just make her look like a stick figure) or if her hair are looking fine.

After giving answers to her million questions, when you are ready to bang your head on the wall, she goes back to her room only to come out in a completely different outfit. That is when you literally want to just jump off the balcony before she starts asking you about this whole new look of her.

I sometimes wonder why people think so much. Like this one friend of mine who goes crazy when he has to ask a girl out on a date. “Should I ask her where she want’s to go”, “Would she like my wearing his shirt”, “Would her parents like me if we continued dating”, “I wonder how her family is”, “Maybe I should just ask her for coffee”, “Coffee during lunch hour or after work”, “Should I ask her her views and thoughts on long term relationships and marriage”…..

Aaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!

And when he finally asks the girl out, he probably freaks the girl out because his relationships have barely survived for more than a month. He has a string of failed relationships just because he just keeps thinking and thinking and thinking.

The problem with most people is that they keep thinking and planning their life. They just literally waste their time in trying to plan their life perfectly while life just happens in the background for them.

Sometimes it’s just good to not think anything and plan absolutely nothing for you or anybody around you. Just let things be and leave everything to destiny.

In the Indian culture, it is believed that everything that is going to happen in your life is already decided by god the moment you are born. Something like destiny. So everything is already decided. For example if it’s written in your destiny that you are going to marry some person then you will marry that person. And no matter how much you love somebody and want to marry him, but your destiny says that you are supposed to marry somebody else, then you can not marry your beloved, no matter how hard you try.

Oh! And this destiny thing works for your career too. Like my dad always say’s that he was born to be an engineer but destined to be a chartered accountant. Confusing, I know.

So it’s like no matter how much I want to do something, I’l end up doing what’s written in my destiny.

It’s a twisted concept but I’m cool with it as long as it keeps me from stressing from stupid stuff. But when it come in the way of my doing something, I just brush it aside. 😛

I’m the kind of person who never bother’s about stuff and just uses her brains for the bare essential and crucial things in life. And I find it pretty satisfying. It’s a relaxed life with minimum chances of my dying of diseases caused by stress.

I don’t know how this post is going to help anybody else, but maybe just try and not over think stuff. It is possible that the one thing you are stressing about so much ends up going away from you because you were too busy planning and plotting and thinking about it when it came to you.

 

 

Look Up

 

I saw this video a few days back when I had my exams. Even though I had sworn not to use my phone or my I-pad for any reason other than an emergency, I still just could not resist picking them up once or twice a day and just browse through for no reason. That is the level of addiction I now have with these two. Losing sight of my phone for 30 seconds is enough to give me a mini heart attack.

But watching this video made me realize how it had become a habit for all of us to constantly be dependent on technology. How we are slowly ans surely losing the human touch and becoming so engrossed in our phones and laptops and computer’s that we barely realize how physically we have nobody around us.

I have about 350 “friends” on Facebook. I barely know 50 out of them in a familiar way. And only 5 of these would probably come and help me if I ever need them. And those 5 don’t even need Facebook to stay connected with me.

We are constantly sharing stuff online. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, all of them have become such a crucial part of our lives that we barely give a thought as to whether anybody is interested in what we are posting or not.

It’s just an attention gaining platform. Putting your life on a platter in front of everybody to scrutinize.

I don’t know about other’s but I have had my share of depression from Facebook when after a shitty day I go online and see how happy people are in their virtual lives. Checking-in in some nice restaurant with friends, going to the movies, posting cheesy pictures they clicked there. Seeing all that has many a times made me think how boring and dull my life sometimes is.

But is it really that dull? I said earlier that I barely know any of these people on a familiar basis. And Facebook I’v realized is not what it really looks like.

Last weekend, me, my sister and my cousins went out for dinner to this nice Italian restaurant. We ‘checked in’ on Facebook and let the whole world know where we were. And then when I put my phone down, I saw all of us busy on the phone, not even bothering to make a conversation. And when We tried to talk, it was just some awkward ‘so what up’, and ‘how’s work’, till the food thankfully came it and we started digging in.

So for anybody who saw my ‘checked -in’ status would think I’m enjoying a nice dinner out with my cousins. What they don’t know is that we had not even a single thing to say to each other.

That was when it struck me how we, being first cousins and siblings have nothing to say to each other after, despite the fact that we were meeting after a month of absolutely no contact. Though we were ready to be ‘connected’ with the rest of our so called ‘friends’.

Life is what is happening to us while we are busy staring down at the screen of our phone. And I truly believe it’s time for us to switch the damn thing off and look up.

Bad Days

Life is never a bed of roses for anyone. Even if we think that the other person must be having such an awesome life, we never realise that everybody, no matter how cool or rich or beautiful would have problems and bad days. Some people are just so good at hiding this fact that we all assume that their life would be nothing less than awesome.

You could have a bad work day, bad hair day or just a bad day where everything that you planned went down the dump and you ended up with the worst possible day ever!

I have had a fair share of bad days. Sometimes things go so bad that I just want to run away somewhere and never come back.

And today is one such day. It seems like everything is falling apart and I just want to shut out the world, get into my bed, and hide under the blankets forever.

It won’t solve any problem but that’s what I really want to do. And I know most of you would agree that many a times this is what all of us want to do.

We try and put up a brave front but inside all we want to do is cry and just let go.

And I can’t even cry, because I have to be all normal in front of everyone at work. So I just sit here as if nothing is wrong and laugh around with everyone but deep inside, a part of me is dying and I can’t do anything about it.